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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I attended my aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent the first quarter of an hour neither grieving nor celebrating her life, but whining that the "cute" clothes my aunt was dressed in could have been handed down to her, instead of being "wasted". FML

Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML

#20458570
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26821) - you deserved it (6922)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

#20438971
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26655) - you deserved it (1399)

On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -

Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

#20455625
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26653) - you deserved it (2729)

On 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm - misc - by fucking mafia or what?? (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home to find two letters from a publishing house that I'd submitted my manuscript to. The first was congratulatory, stating that my book had been accepted for publishing. The second was apologetic, stating that the first letter had been intended for someone else. FML

#20479103
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26635) - you deserved it (1241)

On 01/26/2013 at 1:14am - work - by strugglingartist (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

#20458512
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26582) - you deserved it (4700)

On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, my brother thought New Year's would be more epic and memorable if the fireworks were set off in the family room and not outside. It is memorable. FML

#20435361
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26483) - you deserved it (1909)

On 01/01/2013 at 1:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML

#20472693
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26390) - you deserved it (3934)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML

#20463224
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26389) - you deserved it (2931)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

#20453003
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26331) - you deserved it (6510)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:20am - misc - by datingablonde - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, months into supporting my mum with her part time cleaning job by cooking dinner for my large family after university, I found out that she doesn't actually have a job, she just leaves the house for a few hours because she doesn't want to cook dinner. FML

#20470602
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26319) - you deserved it (1990)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:03am - work - by CollegeChef (woman) - Australia

Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML

#20472998
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26299) - you deserved it (3101)

On 01/22/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by SonofDonald (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26287) - you deserved it (3978)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)



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