Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up following one of the worst nightmares of my life. I was sweating, clutching the sheets, and feeling sick to the stomach. I'd been dreaming of my wedding that's taking place next week. FML

#20468290
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24980) - you deserved it (5910)

On 01/19/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, the drummer of my band briefly mentioned something about not being allowed into the United States, just as he left our last practice before our big tour in America. FML

#20469197
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24971) - you deserved it (1732)

On 01/20/2013 at 7:27am - work - by musicalrose_21 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML

#20473074
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24947) - you deserved it (2541)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:49pm - work - by me - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

#20472782
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24946) - you deserved it (3623)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML

#20474800
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you deserved it (3878)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

#20446049
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24699) - you deserved it (5384)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24662) - you deserved it (10450)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough for just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. FML

#20472701
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24627) - you deserved it (8224)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:27am - money - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I needed to get a hair cut, so my boyfriend recommended I see his mother, who is a trained and licensed hairdresser. Despite the fact that she hates me, I thought she would be mature and do it nice. She butchered my hair like a toddler does their Barbie, and insists that it "suits me". FML

#20474272
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24593) - you deserved it (7611)

On 01/23/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by parmetries - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

#20463067
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24507) - you deserved it (1509)

On 01/16/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by Kallian - United States

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24499) - you deserved it (1628)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML

#20477568
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24430) - you deserved it (2022)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:30am - health - by asthmattack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML

#20453944
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24412) - you deserved it (2056)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:22pm - misc - by wtf did i do?? (man) - Canada (Ontario)



Max Grünfeld's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Worst Sisters Ever
  • Growing up with a sister can be a good thing. If you're a guy, it can teach you about girls and how to interact with them so you won't grow up to be a sexist idiot who's afraid of women and who can only…

Monday 17 June 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by