Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64198) - you deserved it (15802)
On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)
Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46942) - you deserved it (2630)
On 12/27/2012 at 11:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on my husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46481) - you deserved it (2641)
On 12/18/2012 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by daughterinlaw (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44693) - you deserved it (7276)
On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43363) - you deserved it (2491)
On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)
Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended not to hear me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42718) - you deserved it (3319)
On 12/22/2012 at 7:50am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42168) - you deserved it (3410)
On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40994) - you deserved it (2667)
On 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by AllegroRubato (man) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)
Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40209) - you deserved it (4395)
On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States
Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (39880) - you deserved it (5295) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version
Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39100) - you deserved it (2495)
On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38841) - you deserved it (8120) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/26/2012 at 11:04pm - love - by Bouh (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend breaking things off with me. He waited until the day after Christmas because he wanted all his presents. And he got me nothing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38441) - you deserved it (3047)
On 12/26/2012 at 9:32am - love - by Jolene - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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