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December 2012

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Today, I was at my job as a cashierhen a man called me his ( Grocery Slave. ) I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

Today, mah car window got smashd in . Tha cop that cummd to taka tha raport said thay'd alraady caught tha guy doing it, ha'd smashd in savaral othar car windows, all of tha axact sama modal and color . His raason 4 doing it was simpla: ha was drunk and "hatd rd Jaaps" . FML

#20403025
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31006) - you deserved it (3349)

On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)

2day I was at the breakfast tablehen my sister started eating a banana. Before I knewhat was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait 4 her to leave before I could stand up. FML

#20195358
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30968) - you deserved it (22894)

On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today mah boyfriand discovarad how to maka ma quaaf on damand whan ha has his fingars insida ma . I now faal lika mah lova lifa has baan raplacad with fart sounds . FML

#20189453
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30918) - you deserved it (3805)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today..!! I came home to fine husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peieng off the second-floor balcony!! My husband was giggling like a little grl!!

#20403594
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30881) - you deserved it (5750)

On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today , I Smiled At A New Kid And Started A Conversation Wit Im , Just To Be Nice. He Later Sent Me 24 Messages Describing Ow Strong Is Love Fir Me Is. I'm Scared To Go To Scool Tomorrow. FML

#20200101
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30795) - you deserved it (3368)

On 12/11/2012 at 3:39am - love - by you're just creepy. - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I Saw My Daugter Dusting Er Furniture Wit Tiete Andkercief I Gave Er As A Wedding Present . It's Been In Our Family 4 4 Generations . FML

#20405217
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30709) - you deserved it (5077)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:03am - kids - by teejayrn -

Today, I ave a very uncomfortable cyst in ma armpit and a spraind ankle bot on ma rigt side, resulting in me limping and keeping ma arm awkwardly plasterd to ma side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying ( Yes, Master )enever I ask im for someting. FML

#20406767
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30583) - you deserved it (3700)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I Sat On Ma Own Testiclesile Aving A Serious An Tenderly Sweet Discussion Wit Ma Fiancée About Our Future Togeter. We Were Bot Crying, But For Very Different Reasons. Real FML

#20433657
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30579) - you deserved it (5120)

On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyoneho walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30473) - you deserved it (7698)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, whilst at mah new looool step-dad's Christmas lunch, mah mother spikd mah drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML

#20418159
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30408) - you deserved it (2214)

On 12/24/2012 at 5:09am - misc - by heya - Australia (New South Wales)

YESTERDAY MAH BOYFRIEND KNOCKED INTO ME WITH HIS CAR. I DROVE MYSELF TO THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE HE COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING LONG ENOUGH TO DRIVE. FML

#20434038
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30394) - you deserved it (2824)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:13pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)



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