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December 2012

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Today, I came home to find a pregnancy test in my trashcan. I live alone with my boyfriend and I'm not pregnant. FML

#20430574
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38085) - you deserved it (2324)

On 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm - love - by melas303 - United States

Today, my pregnant girlfriend gave me back the ring I'd used to propose with a week ago. Her reason? She only said yes because she was worried the real father of the baby wasn't going to stick around. FML

#20192033
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37982) - you deserved it (2428)

On 12/05/2012 at 5:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My daughter's $11 One Direction poster. What will it cost to fix my car? $1,000. FML

#20427068
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37888) - you deserved it (3792)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:58pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML

#20405554
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37853) - you deserved it (5933)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm - kids - by fatbabysyndrome (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I gave my husband an early Christmas present: Santa-themed lingerie. He got angry and called me selfish, for "using" him as an excuse to get myself nice stuff. FML

#20418722
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37760) - you deserved it (12462)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by selfishsexysanta (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML

#20419854
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37571) - you deserved it (2477)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:20pm - misc - by Julie (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML

#20434205
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37568) - you deserved it (3853)

On 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

#20403784
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37520) - you deserved it (3563)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today, it's my wedding anniversary; my husband forgot. My daughter gave me two beautiful long stem roses and said she would look after her sister while we went out to celebrate. My daughter is more romantic and thoughtful than my own husband. FML

#20410075
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37503) - you deserved it (3545)

On 12/20/2012 at 10:31pm - love - by igiveup (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML

#20413213
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37472) - you deserved it (4296)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by divingconfidence (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML

#20427288
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37419) - you deserved it (5226)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

#20429501
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37145) - you deserved it (4079)

On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

#20408486
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37139) - you deserved it (4280)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -



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