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December 2012

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Today, I faced a dilemma. If I don't let the cat sleep in my bedroom, she spends all night howling at the door, waking up my 2-year-old in the process. If I do let her in, the dog gets distressed and chews the contents of the bin. If I let both of them in, I have no room to sleep. FML

Today, my mom found her CD of cats and dogs singing Christmas songs. That is what I'll be listening to until Christmas. FML

#20186305
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17121) - you deserved it (1387)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:00am - misc - by hinowdie - United States

Today, in the "end-of-the-world" spirit, I asked my boyfriend to marry me. His response was, "It's really windy out." FML

#20410172
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17120) - you deserved it (24184)

On 12/20/2012 at 11:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML

#20201213
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17100) - you deserved it (7363)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML

#20399692
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16993) - you deserved it (1811)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:20pm - misc - by theslutmuncher (man) - Germany (Sachsen-Anhalt)

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

#20197946
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16947) - you deserved it (6444)

On 12/09/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE (man) - United Kingdom (Barking and Dagenham)

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16720) - you deserved it (1263)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML

#20193519
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16584) - you deserved it (2748)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by chinousmc - United States (Florida)

Today, I was yelled at by a customer, who was upset over having waited twenty minutes for a waiter to come take her order. Maybe it would be understandable, if she was sitting in an actual restaurant, and not a serve-yourself coffee house. FML

#20194179
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16569) - you deserved it (824)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at a post-Christmas party, I saw a cute girl standing underneath a mistletoe. I walked up to her and pointed out that we were both standing under a mistletoe. She looked at me, winced, and quickly walked away. FML

#20424412
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16550) - you deserved it (19318)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

#20431454
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16521) - you deserved it (35865)

On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I checked my sister's diary, because I was worried about her recent angry and withdrawn behavior. She caught me in the act, and my mom, whom I've caught blatantly snooping through my stuff multiple times now, grounded me for my "disgusting" violation of my sister's privacy. FML

#20430472
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16461) - you deserved it (31858)

On 12/29/2012 at 6:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I bought some expensive fabric softener since I'm not too keen on my detergent's smell. Only after washing two weeks worth of laundry did I discover that mixed together they realistically mimic the smell of fresh puke. FML

#20189162
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16294) - you deserved it (3116)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:40am - misc - by backtothelaundrettethen (woman) - Germany



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