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at a Christmas party , crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response stupid brain could think of was , "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML
Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy looool 4 me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift themhen I saw the other man,ho was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informd me he was buying them 4 his wife.
Taday I thought I felt something itch mah butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just mah imagination, I did mah business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML
Today after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show Dexter she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red blood-like juice everywhere!! I am now afraid to argue with her!! FML
Today, I was texting my mother after my boyfriend broke off our relationship. She offered incredibly supportive replies such as "No, really?" and "Aww, that sucks." before apparently getting bored and claiming she had to go because her "text reception" was breaking up. FML
TODAY, I RAN INTO MY INFANT DAUGHTER'S ROOM BECAUSE I THOUGHT I HEARD HER CRYING, AN FOUND SHE WAS STILL SOUND ASLEEP IN HER CRIB. THE SCREAMS WERE COMING FROM THE MOUSE OUR CAT WAS USING TO PAINT HER BEDROOM WALLS. FML
Friday 27 March 2015