Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML

#20397583
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23285) - you deserved it (2221)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:58am - health - by meranda_johnson - United States

Today, I went to see a musical that some school friends had put on. At some point in the show, the main character kicked her leg up in the air, and her high heel flew off of her foot and into the audience. The shoe hit me square in the face. FML

#20196764
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23081) - you deserved it (1755)

On 12/08/2012 at 7:25pm - health - by ko - United States (Illinois)

Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23080) - you deserved it (1956)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

#20432089
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23075) - you deserved it (4794)

On 12/30/2012 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Saarland)

Today, my roommate turned the thermostat down to 50 degrees. Why? Because she read that shivering burns calories. FML

#20200383
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23043) - you deserved it (1808)

On 12/11/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML

#20194217
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22845) - you deserved it (1729)

On 12/06/2012 at 7:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I flew from Australia to the UK to meet the woman I love. After two years of talking, and having gotten a love letter for my birthday a few months prior, I was convinced we'd have a great time. Turns out she doesn't know what she feels for me. I'm staying with her for the next 35 days. FML

#20201791
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22824) - you deserved it (8012)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:56am - love - by RabbitOfAurora - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML

#20401192
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22819) - you deserved it (5265)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm - work - by lingling (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went on a cruise. I gave my bags to a porter, and tipped him $5. Later that night, my bags still hadn't arrived at my room, and that's when I realized that I'd paid a fake porter to steal my bags. FML

#20397361
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22714) - you deserved it (4695)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:43pm - misc - by McFizzy321 - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

#20186953
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22600) - you deserved it (4099)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22596) - you deserved it (1592)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, at school, I have to do a 45 minute presentation with a girl who has panic attacks so bad that she cries, runs out of the room, and sometimes passes out. This presentation terrifies her and it's a major part of my final grade. FML

#20192286
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22372) - you deserved it (2031)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by Murlocmurk - United States

Today, I took my driver's test. I was confident and thought everything would go well. My boss ended up calling me several times during the test. Turns out my colleague never showed up to cover for me, and my boss blamed me. Not only did I fail my test, I'm now suspended from work too. FML

#20397879
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22364) - you deserved it (2295)

On 12/13/2012 at 12:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: