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December 2012

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Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML

#20432925
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27448) - you deserved it (8268)

On 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm - work - by BAMN2187 - United States

Today, in history class, we were talking about Ancient Rome, and what childbirth would have been like back then. One girl asked in all seriousness why they didn't use ultrasound machines to see what sex their babies were. I have to deal with people like this on a daily basis. FML

#20398310
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27393) - you deserved it (1783)

On 12/13/2012 at 6:44pm - misc - by surrounded by dumbfucks (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

#20189170
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27227) - you deserved it (3681)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML

#20197527
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27092) - you deserved it (1561)

On 12/09/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by woodless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27078) - you deserved it (12836)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, my mother has stooped to a new level of "hiding" Christmas gifts. She now just dumps them in the middle of the floor and says, "Don't look at them." If she even thinks I'm glancing in the direction of the pile, she will burst into a manic rage, and yell at me for "ruining the surprise." FML

#20408692
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26969) - you deserved it (7291)

On 12/20/2012 at 8:57am - misc - by Mandy93 (woman) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML

#20194994
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26955) - you deserved it (15896)

On 12/07/2012 at 10:30am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML

#20195821
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26921) - you deserved it (4745)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:33am - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, I woke up from an explicit dream involving my dentist. I'm scheduled for a conscious sedation appointment with him in two hours and I'm terrified of what I might say or do while I'm under. FML

#20423262
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26845) - you deserved it (2914)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:05am - health - by ugh - United States (Ohio)

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

#20201910
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26826) - you deserved it (6688)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:32pm - kids - by Renzy (woman) -

Today, a stranger was kind enough to plow my driveway during a blizzard. However, they were not kind enough to leave their number after plowing the front end of my car. FML

#20431369
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26750) - you deserved it (2362)

On 12/30/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by imcold - United States

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

#20194684
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26671) - you deserved it (4165)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26645) - you deserved it (6285)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)



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