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December 2012

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Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32695) - you deserved it (5477)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her. FML

#20195064
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32548) - you deserved it (1754)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by sonofahypocriticalwhore (man) - United States

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

#20415339
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32509) - you deserved it (7204)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

#20404199
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32439) - you deserved it (3714)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm - love - by kidyounot (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

#20411217
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32291) - you deserved it (17071)

On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

#20408486
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32240) - you deserved it (3330)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

#20426821
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32195) - you deserved it (25087)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

#20409541
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31907) - you deserved it (3811)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by jsmills92 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

#20422616
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31880) - you deserved it (3109)

On 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML

#20197502
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31796) - you deserved it (3135)

On 12/09/2012 at 9:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

#20399736
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31714) - you deserved it (5931)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm - love - by mandybar15 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML

#20420364
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31703) - you deserved it (3567)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - love - by un_christmas - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML

#20431241
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31551) - you deserved it (2269)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:14am - work - by avoid the sour cream - United States



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