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December 2012

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Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML

#20424687
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35763) - you deserved it (2853)

On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her. FML

#20195064
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35629) - you deserved it (1972)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by sonofahypocriticalwhore (man) - United States

Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML

#20414355
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35407) - you deserved it (5567)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:29pm - kids - by Jane (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my crazy psychopath of a neighbor sent me an email with the subject, "So, about your sex life." I've been sitting here for 20 minutes staring at it because I'm too scared to open it. FML

#20189915
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35381) - you deserved it (3646)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

#20415555
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35282) - you deserved it (8372)

On 12/23/2012 at 3:24am - animals - by Kate (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on my boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

#20404199
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35075) - you deserved it (3930)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm - love - by kidyounot (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

#20422616
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35045) - you deserved it (3444)

On 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34928) - you deserved it (3796)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

#20411217
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34919) - you deserved it (17695)

On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

#20193609
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34893) - you deserved it (4008)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML

#20398872
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34855) - you deserved it (2921)

On 12/14/2012 at 1:40am - health - by bloodyfreakinawful - United States (Texas)

Today, I took a bath because I couldn't get my left arm wet due to a minor medical procedure. My roommates decided to barge in to the bathroom and ruthlessly pelt me with flour. Not only did I find out flour burns the eyes, but the shock caused me to slip and submerge my arm. FML

#20408309
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34848) - you deserved it (2663)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:55am - health - by antiqued - United States (California)



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