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December 2012

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Taday I had to do a presentation in front of my entre school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36998) - you deserved it (15251)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with mah boyfriand, who is parfact in avary way possibla. Wa wara going to hava sax for tha first tima as wall. Unfortunataly, I had a draam last night about him shitting all ovar ma an I can't look at him with a straight faca. maga FML

#20403258
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36963) - you deserved it (14236)

On 12/17/2012 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today ouse was broken into. Te cop tat cummed turned out to be a guy I fougt over a grl wit in ig scool. He sneered and said tat everyting appereed to be in order and tat I probably ransacked own ouse. FML

#20408586
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36855) - you deserved it (8634)

On 12/20/2012 at 6:19am - misc - by doblex (man) - United States

Today, my mom an I went to Best Buy for some Cristmas sopping. Se picked up some presents for me an told me not to look at wat se was buying. Wen we got to te register, se didn't ave enoug money, an I ended up aving to buy my own presents. mega FML

#20413996
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36742) - you deserved it (3090)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:25pm - money - by dude, where's my balls? :( (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today , I sent a cute , jokey text to girlfriend saying , "Just in case te world ends , I love you." Not only did se dump me because I was an "idiot 4 believing in te doomsday" , wic I don't , se also wrote a Facebook status about it . Now everyone tinks I'm mentally unstable . FML

#20409563
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36597) - you deserved it (6613)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, I told mah husband to tell me his wildest fantasy !! He told me it was to putted on fake antlers and "do it lyk deer" !! mega FML

#20415339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36537) - you deserved it (7776)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)

yesterday ma skydiving instructor casually remarked tat e looool wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to ma back teole way down. FML

#20434488
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36432) - you deserved it (3247)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by _The__Doctor_ (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I ad to elp a teenage boy learn ow to float. Tis involves supporting te person's back as tey try to float. His boner stood straigt up. FML

#20185787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36396) - you deserved it (3414)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get looool a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, ( Because he's not real, dumbass! ) FML

#20416717
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36321) - you deserved it (5644)

On 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm - kids - by still had to pay (man) - Australia

Today, I walkd in on my son and is friand comparing tara panis sizas . Tay'ra 6 . FML

#20415295
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36223) - you deserved it (5111)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)

Today, mah boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, mah hand hit his shoulder and I dropped mah phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, mah dad was staring at us from outside. He still appear to think I was giving him head. fat FML

#20200049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36177) - you deserved it (3745)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

TODAY... I WENT TO BED WITH A BRA ON. I WOKE UP WITH NO BRA ON. MY BROTHER HAD A FRIEND SLEEP OVER LAST NIGHT. I WONDER WHERE MAH BRA WENT. FML

#20434205
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36124) - you deserved it (3856)

On 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Taday I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing mah business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over mah shoulder andhispers in mah ear, ( That's nice ). FML

#20424687
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35696) - you deserved it (2851)

On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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