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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while I was cleaning out my son's room, I came across his diary. Opening it out of curiosity, I found ramblings about how blacks, Jews, and other "inferior breeds" should be forcibly sterilized "for the common good." FML

#20147982
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28832) - you deserved it (9019)

On 11/04/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by Ugh - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend while we were on my couch having a romantic moment. She seemed incredibly excited when she saw the ring and put it on. The way she bolted out the door tells me I'm not going to see her again. FML

#20163929
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28737) - you deserved it (2236)

On 11/15/2012 at 1:35am - love - by minime94 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML

#20146254
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28721) - you deserved it (2951)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm - love - by markderanjer (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the "other guy", he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous and trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML

#20177730
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28661) - you deserved it (2697)

On 11/25/2012 at 3:09am - love - by king400 - United States (California)

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

#20156278
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28565) - you deserved it (6827)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Argentina (Buenos Aires)

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28456) - you deserved it (1631)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

#20176033
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28348) - you deserved it (2025)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
172 comments

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

#20148958
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28261) - you deserved it (2456)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML

#20167155
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28182) - you deserved it (1707)

On 11/17/2012 at 7:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML

#20173702
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28160) - you deserved it (5911)

On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

#20164798
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28137) - you deserved it (2329)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)



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