Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

#20164356
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18698) - you deserved it (2211)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML

#20163512
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18611) - you deserved it (2388)

On 11/14/2012 at 7:48pm - health - by duhasiangirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18606) - you deserved it (6906)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was mugged at gunpoint by a senior citizen. She now has a lousy $20, and I probably have PTSD. FML

#20182765
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18508) - you deserved it (2169)

On 11/28/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by stillshakinggd (man) - United States

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

#20165039
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18500) - you deserved it (2550)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States

Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML

#20173388
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18424) - you deserved it (3920)

On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML

#20156173
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18406) - you deserved it (5427)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:07am - love - by loser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while working at the coffee shop, I had to empty the garbage cans. One of the bags gave way, and all the half-finished cups of coffee spilled all over my uniform. Most customers' orders cost more than I make per hour. FML

#20166731
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18373) - you deserved it (1897)

On 11/17/2012 at 1:35pm - work - by overpriced coffee shop worker - United States (California)

Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML

#20171812
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18338) - you deserved it (4682)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML

#20183071
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18338) - you deserved it (1333)

On 11/28/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML

#20155893
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18318) - you deserved it (3800)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML

#20159093
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18293) - you deserved it (1458)

On 11/11/2012 at 3:27pm - misc - by Miki13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working out so I can listen to music and I was excited to start getting in shape. Unfortunately, when I tried it on, my arm was too big and it didn't fit. FML

#20168720
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18212) - you deserved it (6124)

On 11/18/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by joe - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: