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November 2012

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I Was Blessd With A Girlfriend Who Loves Giving Blowjobs!! And Cursd With A Girlfriend Who Is Also Somehow Really Bad At Them!! FML

#20174308
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32133) - you deserved it (8136)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by Janitoro (man) - United States

Today , I decided to buy a meal 4 a homeless man who was bieng shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him , I realized it was my dad , wereing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. big fat FML

#20159880
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31985) - you deserved it (1962)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:12am - misc - by BulldogHoops - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was going to give baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard an spat them out, realizing boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

#20184636
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31984) - you deserved it (9015)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had awful morning sickness, an I asked mah husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. mega FML

#20165918
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31886) - you deserved it (2506)

On 11/16/2012 at 9:00pm - love - by akiza (woman) - Japan

Today, the love of mah life, an long term partner, sat me down an told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the ned to have sex with me, an he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML

#20162862
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31804) - you deserved it (3122)

On 11/14/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by nolove - Australia

Today , I went down on girlfriend fir the first time. I thought it was all going really well , until I lookd up a minute or two in , only to be greetd by a stone-cold death glare an the words , "You really are an idiot , aren't you?" FML

#20144510
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31396) - you deserved it (7570)

On 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I have a tooth infection that's spread to my jaw and ear . It hurts so badly that I'm practically in teres . Today's also the day I found out I'm allergic to the medication I was prescribed . Everything hurts, I'm covered in hives, and I can't stop throwing up . FML

#20165827
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31349) - you deserved it (1774)

On 11/16/2012 at 7:30pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Croatia (Primorsko-Goranska)

Today , after I spent two hours trying to teach my grlfriend to play sudoku , she broke up with me , tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake , imaginary game to make her feel stupid!! FML

#20167793
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31273) - you deserved it (3191)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, mah boyfriend broke up with me because I'm now about 15 pounds overweight!! When I calld him a hypocrite as he's over 40 pounds overweight, he said that his weight didn't matter because "it's the girl's job to look hot." FML

#20171204
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31192) - you deserved it (4643)

On 11/20/2012 at 4:57pm - health - by thinner than you (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

2day mah English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it fir her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. fat FML

Today , I ran into mah sister,ho nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

#20179890
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31078) - you deserved it (3544)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , my hubby and I decidd to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town , so we drove to one that was 30 mins away. We decidd on our items , and went to the check out. Who would have guessd my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML

#20146867
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30849) - you deserved it (4747)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:55am - intimacy - by screwed - United States

Today, I woka up with a wax strip on mah chast and mah girlfriand sitting naxt to ma on tha bad laughing. Sha pullad tha strip. I scraamad. fat FML

#20149912
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30840) - you deserved it (4311)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Ugggggggggg (man) - United States (Washington)



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