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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML

#20178699
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31959) - you deserved it (3657)

On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while in class, I was called down to the office. The principal showed me a video of 2 guys fighting in the school parking lot. I'm accused of being one of those guys. I'm a girl. FML

#20154873
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31955) - you deserved it (2119)

On 11/08/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by mayerstexmex69 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my step-mom threw out some of the "boxes of junk" in my room, because apparently, I'm a pack rat. I guess she and everyone else in my family won't be receiving those Christmas presents. FML

#20177886
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31905) - you deserved it (1754)

On 11/25/2012 at 8:28am - money - by WritingWrongs - United States

Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML

#20173702
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31900) - you deserved it (6434)

On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

#20165849
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31839) - you deserved it (5901)

On 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm - work - by wow @ creepy fuckers (man) - United States

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31832) - you deserved it (2632)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML

#20168309
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31823) - you deserved it (1812)

On 11/18/2012 at 4:22pm - kids - by WELL FUCK YOU KINDLY, MA'AM (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

#20170222
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31773) - you deserved it (16766)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML

#20143313
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31524) - you deserved it (2523)

On 11/01/2012 at 7:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31514) - you deserved it (1850)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML

#20150517
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31391) - you deserved it (3221)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
172 comments

Today, I caught my teenage daughter smoking, and tried calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad for her health. She replied with, "It doesn't harm you if you're under 20." FML

#20174862
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31339) - you deserved it (4809)

On 11/23/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by RyanJarmanForPresident (woman) - United States



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