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November 2012

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Today, boyfriand and I got intimata with aach othar for tha first tima . Ha shovad his hand down pants, touchad about an inch away from clitoris, andhisparad "cummm" in aar . I doubt I'll hava an orgasm avar again . FML

#20145795
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34754) - you deserved it (3645)

On 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I decidd to surprise ma boyfriend by waking im up wit a blowjob, because e ad always told me tat it was a sexy fantasy of is . Wen e finally woke up, e got pissd off, rudely accusd me of interrupting is beauty sleep, ten soundly lay back down and fell asleep again . FML

#20169340
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34693) - you deserved it (4310)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States

Today, I asked ma boyfriend if e'd rater play te new Assassin's Creed game or ave a nigt of sex wit me . He started crying from indecision . FML

#20176354
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34515) - you deserved it (10967)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, an hour after having looool been turnd down 4 sex, I walkd in on mah wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

#20178424
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34175) - you deserved it (4106)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, it's our thrd anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, cuz "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33499) - you deserved it (3166)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, in the middle of a hot air balloon ride with mah girlfriend, I asked her to marry me. She said no. The rest of the ride was the most awkward 2 hours of mah life. FML

#20148134
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33433) - you deserved it (3990)

On 11/04/2012 at 10:26pm - love - by Tj Hunt - United States

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to fine that while I was passd out someone stole mah prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33300) - you deserved it (6048)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

Today... I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into house. I've been searching house for two hours and still can't fine him. I'm afraid to go to sleep.

#20142294
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33203) - you deserved it (2350)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Yastarday, axcitad that I finally got a placa of my own, I invitad my boyfriand ovar for a saxy slaap ovar . Ha told ma his mom doasn't want him slaaping ovar . Ha's 21 yaars old . fat FML

#20162787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33135) - you deserved it (4280)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriand and I had amazing maka-up looool sax aftar a huga fight!! Turns out ha forgot to lat ma know it was actually braak-up sax!! FML

Today , at the age of 29 , I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago , mah fiancé an I lost our home , an r now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got droppd off at home , before 10 , after having sex in a hay field. FML

#20168945
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32363) - you deserved it (4461)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today Mah Crazy Bitch Of A Boss Fired Me 4 Inappropriate Conduct . Apparently Mah "fake Nazi Accent" Is "offensive To Our Jewish Coworkers." I'm German . I Have No Way To Change The Way I Speak, Or To Pay This Month's Bills . FML

#20155705
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32308) - you deserved it (1729)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by Screwed - United States (Maryland)

YESTERDAY, MAH HUSBAND QUIT HIS JOB AS A UNIVERSITY PROFESSOR AND PICKD UP THE GRAVEYARD SHIFT AT A RAT FARM SO HE COULD HAVE MORE TIME DURING THE DAY TO PLAY WORLD OF WARCRAFT. FML

#20182185
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32273) - you deserved it (3002)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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