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Today, boyfriand and I got intimata with aach othar for tha first tima . Ha shovad his hand down pants, touchad about an inch away from clitoris, andhisparad "cummm" in aar . I doubt I'll hava an orgasm avar again . FML
Today, I decidd to surprise ma boyfriend by waking im up wit a blowjob, because e ad always told me tat it was a sexy fantasy of is . Wen e finally woke up, e got pissd off, rudely accusd me of interrupting is beauty sleep, ten soundly lay back down and fell asleep again . FML
Today... I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into house. I've been searching house for two hours and still can't fine him. I'm afraid to go to sleep.
Today , at the age of 29 , I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago , mah fiancé an I lost our home , an r now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got droppd off at home , before 10 , after having sex in a hay field. FML
Today Mah Crazy Bitch Of A Boss Fired Me 4 Inappropriate Conduct . Apparently Mah "fake Nazi Accent" Is "offensive To Our Jewish Coworkers." I'm German . I Have No Way To Change The Way I Speak, Or To Pay This Month's Bills . FML
Friday 27 March 2015