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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

#20173284
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19554) - you deserved it (3640)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my deranged wife somehow became convinced that vampires actually exist. She's now walking around with garlic powder caked into her clothing. I can't get the smell out of my nostrils. FML

#20147303
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19514) - you deserved it (1996)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19505) - you deserved it (46260)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML

#20185421
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19465) - you deserved it (4669)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

#20167613
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19340) - you deserved it (2239)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:04am - misc - by creys - United States

Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML

#20156173
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19281) - you deserved it (5579)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:07am - love - by loser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

#20164356
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19121) - you deserved it (2250)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML

#20173388
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19071) - you deserved it (3999)

On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML

#20175635
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18957) - you deserved it (2998)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

#20168543
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18901) - you deserved it (1510)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turned on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML

Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML

#20171812
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18639) - you deserved it (4724)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

#20165039
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18549) - you deserved it (2553)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States



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