Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working out so I can listen to music and I was excited to start getting in shape. Unfortunately, when I tried it on, my arm was too big and it didn't fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13310) - you deserved it (4431)
On 11/18/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by joe - United States (Maryland)
Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13269) - you deserved it (978)
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13132) - you deserved it (5272)
On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was mugged at gunpoint by a senior citizen. She now has a lousy $20, and I probably have PTSD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13099) - you deserved it (1413)
On 11/28/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by stillshakinggd (man) - United States
Today, while giving a lecture on gender equality in the workplace, a woman yelled from the back, asking me why I'm not out starting a war somewhere. I stopped talking and tried to pinpoint her in the crowd, which she took as a sign to snort and call me a pussy. Nobody would back me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13065) - you deserved it (1731)
On 11/18/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Riga)
Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13052) - you deserved it (1639)
On 11/18/2012 at 2:04am - misc - by creys - United States
Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12977) - you deserved it (945)
On 11/12/2012 at 12:25am - health - by KtSue - United States
Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12916) - you deserved it (2895)
On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12867) - you deserved it (3354)
On 11/27/2012 at 10:35am - love - by ToxxicAngel (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)
Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML
I agree, your life sucks (12788) - you deserved it (2217)
On 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12786) - you deserved it (796)
On 11/28/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12744) - you deserved it (4438)
On 11/09/2012 at 11:07am - love - by loser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12696) - you deserved it (1643)
On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland
Monday 17 June 2013
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