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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was woken up by my elderly neighbor banging on my door at 2am. She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off. I'd just fallen asleep. FML

#20184989
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18750) - you deserved it (1432)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Rachael (woman) - Australia

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

#20142866
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18726) - you deserved it (3122) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML

#20158140
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18719) - you deserved it (2331)

On 11/10/2012 at 10:10pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, to help me get over my crippling social anxiety, my therapist encouraged me to sing in front of a crowd, since I actually have a fine singing voice. I ended up fainting onstage, mid-song. FML

#20146765
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18716) - you deserved it (1711)

On 11/04/2012 at 2:28am - misc - by Chuffy (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18688) - you deserved it (3441)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML

#20154142
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18654) - you deserved it (1991)

On 11/07/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by ohcrap (man) - United States

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18574) - you deserved it (2921)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I threw up after drinking a smoothie my mother made me. She then called me "ungrateful" and "immature" for not liking what she spent a long time making for me. I later found out that not only did she use expired yogurt, it was also a mango smoothie, which I'm allergic to. FML

#20153910
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18564) - you deserved it (1020)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:28pm - health - by anon - United States

Today, my parents kindly told me what they are getting me for my 18th birthday. An eviction notice. FML

#20170511
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18559) - you deserved it (2762)

On 11/20/2012 at 1:47am - kids - by lea5459 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML

#20174185
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18545) - you deserved it (1335)

On 11/22/2012 at 6:18pm - misc - by mommycooks (woman) - United States

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18531) - you deserved it (16189)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML

#20162095
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18522) - you deserved it (3421)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turned on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML



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