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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21907) - you deserved it (7563)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21875) - you deserved it (17825)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

#20159898
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21788) - you deserved it (1776)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:25am - health - by KtSue - United States

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

#20173284
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21739) - you deserved it (3936)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

#20184036
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21665) - you deserved it (28470)

On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

#20165039
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21646) - you deserved it (2869)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States

Today, I was mugged at gunpoint by a senior citizen. She now has a lousy $20, and I probably have PTSD. FML

#20182765
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21643) - you deserved it (2524)

On 11/28/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by stillshakinggd (man) - United States

Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML

#20183071
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21507) - you deserved it (1585)

On 11/28/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working out so I can listen to music and I was excited to start getting in shape. Unfortunately, when I tried it on, my arm was too big and it didn't fit. FML

#20168720
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21463) - you deserved it (6684)

On 11/18/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, while working at the coffee shop, I had to empty the garbage cans. One of the bags gave way, and all the half-finished cups of coffee spilled all over my uniform. Most customers' orders cost more than I make per hour. FML

#20166731
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21459) - you deserved it (2162)

On 11/17/2012 at 1:35pm - work - by overpriced coffee shop worker - United States (California)

Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML

#20142730
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21449) - you deserved it (1779)

On 11/01/2012 at 9:52am - work - by tmi. - Australia

Today, I finally got to attend the concert I have been anticipating for weeks. The band was great. The drunk guy sitting behind me yelling profanity and out of tune lyrics in my ear throughout the entire show, however, was not. FML

#20144110
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21405) - you deserved it (2081)

On 11/02/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by annoyed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

#20168543
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21370) - you deserved it (1691)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)



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