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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

#20140315
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10354) - you deserved it (70113)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML

#20107434
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10263) - you deserved it (31997)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by blabbermouth (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10214) - you deserved it (40561)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I wore a dress that I bought last weekend to work, thinking how I liked it and it fitted me perfectly, until someone at work told me that I was actually wearing a nightie. FML

#20103918
102 comments

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML

#20138170
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10077) - you deserved it (24525)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML

#20119129
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9826) - you deserved it (59829)

On 10/16/2012 at 1:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

#20111868
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9824) - you deserved it (26872)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:02am - love - by goodeyesight (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, just for old time's sake, I decided to jump on my bed. I ended up hitting my head on the spinning fan and knocking myself unconscious. FML

#20114543
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9692) - you deserved it (30506)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:45am - health - by lalalalainie - United States (California)

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

#20129296
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9639) - you deserved it (51848)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9024) - you deserved it (32846)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I went to the surprise birthday party of an ex I still love, though I'm the one who ended things. I walked in in time to see her screaming "Yes" to her kneeling boyfriend, her parents crying and applauding, and her brothers patting him on the back. FML

#20110139
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8946) - you deserved it (44831)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:26am - love - by Toolate (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML

#20139053
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8850) - you deserved it (13546)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by IndianAngel96 - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancé's stepfather asked me how my teaching job was going. I replied heatedly that I've never taught, and then complained bitterly to my fiancé about how his family still doesn't know me. Turns out his stepfather has early onset dementia, and that I'm an asshole. FML

#20129656
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8491) - you deserved it (30866)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:29am - misc - by inthefamily (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)



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