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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at the age of 57, my dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. FML

#20120590
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23348) - you deserved it (3934) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/17/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous - France (Bretagne)

Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML

#20118333
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23322) - you deserved it (2122)

On 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Bug (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at around 11pm the police made a visit to my house, explaining how my neighbors had thought I was using a universal remote to change their television channels. FML

#20099119
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23321) - you deserved it (1362)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML

#20133890
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23305) - you deserved it (1920)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:58am - health - by Weasel123 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to break up. But not until after our anniversary tomorrow, because he's already gotten dinner reservations for us. FML

#20127937
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23292) - you deserved it (1588)

On 10/22/2012 at 5:01am - love - by reserved - United States (California)

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

#20106895
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23180) - you deserved it (4262)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband sweetly asked me, "You know what I'd really like to do if I had an extra $4,000?" Expecting a romantic answer, I asked what. He said, "I'd get you a tummy tuck." He still can't figure out what he said wrong. FML

#20125706
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23042) - you deserved it (4523)

On 10/20/2012 at 8:22pm - love - by cargaljen (woman) - United States

Today, while at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discovered one of the patients had developed an unhealthy obsession for me. He was admitted for stalking and abusing a girl who looked just like me. It's only my first week. FML

#20127982
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23042) - you deserved it (1514)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got married. I received a beautifully wrapped gift from my dad. I was full of excitement until I opened it and found two taxidermied rabbits. The ones I had when I was in the fifth grade. FML

#20120354
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23017) - you deserved it (1711)

On 10/16/2012 at 10:48pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

#20121138
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22899) - you deserved it (1500)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22884) - you deserved it (2859)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

#20100352
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22860) - you deserved it (7387)

On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

#20141826
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22845) - you deserved it (1539)

On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)



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