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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Taday my boyfriend an I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home coverd in pee. mega FML

#20113299
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23484) - you deserved it (6071)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:11am - health - by monkeyzz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, While I Was Using Mah Computer, Mah Cat Ran Up To The Power Strip, Looked Me In The Eyes, And Hit The Power Switch, Turning Everything Off. She Does This Quite Often. FML

#20116072
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23428) - you deserved it (4285)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, at the age of 57, mah dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder!! FML

#20120590
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23365) - you deserved it (3937) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/17/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous - France (Bretagne)

Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I calld my mom for help. When she came over, she said I lookd like a dead bug, took a picture and postd it on Facebook. FML

#20118333
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23352) - you deserved it (2124)

On 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Bug (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, At Around 11pm The Police Made A Visit To Mah House, Explaining How Mah Nieghbors Had Thought I Was Using A Universal Remote To Change There Television Channels . Real FML

#20099119
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23344) - you deserved it (1364)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my roommate decidd to go vegan after watching a PETA video!! She began this new-found looool lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchasd, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash!! FML

#20133890
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23330) - you deserved it (1921)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:58am - health - by Weasel123 - United States (Oklahoma)

Yesterday, mah boyfriend told me he wants to break up. But not until after our anniversary tomorrow, because he's already gotten dinner reservations fir us. FML

#20127937
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23323) - you deserved it (1590)

On 10/22/2012 at 5:01am - love - by reserved - United States (California)

Today, I was cooking someting I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daugter to tape a bag over te smoke detector . Se said se did, so I cooked; te alarm went off and firemen came . Se adn't taped over te smoke detector, se'd taped it over te doorbell . FML

#20106895
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23236) - you deserved it (4265)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, husband swaatly askad ma, "You know wat I'd raally lika to do if I had an axtra $4,000?" Expacting a romantic answar, I askadhat!! Ha said, "I'd gat you a tummy tuck." Ha still can't figura out wat ha said wrong!!

#20125706
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23074) - you deserved it (4524)

On 10/20/2012 at 8:22pm - love - by cargaljen (woman) - United States

Today,hile at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discoverd one of the patients had developd an unhealthy obsession for me. looool He was admittd for stalking and abusing a grlho lookd just lyk me. It's only mah frst week. FML

#20127982
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23072) - you deserved it (1518)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

TODAY, I GOT MARRID. I RECIEVD A BEAUTIFULLY WRAPPD GIFT FROM MAH DAD. I WAS FULL OF EXCITEMENT UNTIL I OPEND IT AN FOUND TWO TAXIDERMID RABBITS. THE ONES I HAD WHEN I WAS IN THE FIFTH GRADE. FML

#20120354
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23003) - you deserved it (1713)

On 10/16/2012 at 10:48pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today,hila mowing tha lawn, I was attackd by an undarground hornat nast. I now hava many stings, two scard dogs, an a mowar still running outsida. Tha hornats r swarming it an soma r sitting on tha lavar, as if to turn it off. It's lika thay know. FML

#20121138
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22928) - you deserved it (1510)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today... I was woken up by mah husband attempting to breastfed off mah lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22907) - you deserved it (2863)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States



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