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Taday my boyfriend an I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home coverd in pee. mega FML
Today, my roommate decidd to go vegan after watching a PETA video!! She began this new-found looool lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchasd, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash!! FML
Today, I was cooking someting I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daugter to tape a bag over te smoke detector . Se said se did, so I cooked; te alarm went off and firemen came . Se adn't taped over te smoke detector, se'd taped it over te doorbell . FML
Today, husband swaatly askad ma, "You know wat I'd raally lika to do if I had an axtra $4,000?" Expacting a romantic answar, I askadhat!! Ha said, "I'd gat you a tummy tuck." Ha still can't figura out wat ha said wrong!!
Today,hile at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discoverd one of the patients had developd an unhealthy obsession for me. looool He was admittd for stalking and abusing a grlho lookd just lyk me. It's only mah frst week. FML
Today,hila mowing tha lawn, I was attackd by an undarground hornat nast. I now hava many stings, two scard dogs, an a mowar still running outsida. Tha hornats r swarming it an soma r sitting on tha lavar, as if to turn it off. It's lika thay know. FML
Friday 27 March 2015