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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

#20139261
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29171) - you deserved it (2820)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm going to be helping the love of my life pick out an engagement ring for my cousin. FML

#20107387
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29122) - you deserved it (3601)

On 10/08/2012 at 12:39pm - love - by unlucky - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was placed firmly in the friend-zone. By my wife. We've been married 10 years. She doesn't want a divorce, she says it'd be too "time-consuming." FML

#20111577
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29115) - you deserved it (2119)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:56am - love - by agh marriage (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML

#20129237
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28941) - you deserved it (1341)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:51pm - work - by bad samaritan (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was slapped by a fourteen-year-old girl because I was apparently "stealing her boyfriend." I'm twenty-five, and her boyfriend is my nephew. FML

#20100511
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28898) - you deserved it (1729)

On 10/03/2012 at 8:45pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

#20127667
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28741) - you deserved it (1507)

On 10/22/2012 at 12:07am - work - by Lunazel93 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML

#20130811
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28712) - you deserved it (2439)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:15am - kids - by BobsBabe2 - United States

Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML

#20098150
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28687) - you deserved it (1960)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:11am - work - by GamerTag (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a job interview for a job I've been dying to have. As I'm walking into the office, the manager says, "Aren't you my son's ex, the one he cheated on?" All I could do was sit there quietly as he laughed at me. FML

#20129479
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28666) - you deserved it (2168)

On 10/23/2012 at 3:54am - work - by emilyparra1 - United States (Florida)

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

#20113152
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28582) - you deserved it (2051)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by Dino (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28572) - you deserved it (1839)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband informed me that he recently slept with a secretary of his to become better at sex for me. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he cheated on me or that he seriously believes that he has a reasonable excuse. FML

#20124966
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28341) - you deserved it (2021)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:49am - love - by Enragedbitch - United States (California)

Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML

#20129288
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28289) - you deserved it (4566)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by bunintheoven (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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