Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22601) - you deserved it (1225)
On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22423) - you deserved it (1225)
On 10/08/2012 at 11:08am - misc - by LovedByFamily (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22415) - you deserved it (7528)
On 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22374) - you deserved it (3167)
On 10/08/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by juliette (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was slapped by a fourteen-year-old girl because I was apparently "stealing her boyfriend." I'm twenty-five, and her boyfriend is my nephew. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22329) - you deserved it (1135)
On 10/03/2012 at 8:45pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22266) - you deserved it (3162)
On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21903) - you deserved it (969)
On 10/22/2012 at 12:07am - work - by Lunazel93 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was placed firmly in the friend-zone. By my wife. We've been married 10 years. She doesn't want a divorce, she says it'd be too "time-consuming." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21741) - you deserved it (1365)
On 10/11/2012 at 1:56am - love - by agh marriage (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21730) - you deserved it (2077)
On 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm - love - by imafunguy (man) - United States
Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21690) - you deserved it (1543)
On 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by praise the prenup (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21678) - you deserved it (3871)
On 10/23/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by bunintheoven (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21618) - you deserved it (2329)
On 10/04/2012 at 10:44am - love - by Dave (man) - United States
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21427) - you deserved it (3307)
On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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