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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today I learnd y so much money has been missing from credit card account. My boyfriend stole it an has been buying toys for his 3 children. I never knew he had kids. real FML

#20117313
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25755) - you deserved it (2611)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:19pm - money - by katie_sadface (woman) - Canada

TODAY, I HAD TO PRY MAH SISTER'S USED TAMPON OUT FROM BETWEEN MAH DOG'S JAWS. FML

#20104660
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25615) - you deserved it (1787)

On 10/06/2012 at 6:58pm - animals - by banj0 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. mega FML

#20132231
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25587) - you deserved it (1541)

On 10/25/2012 at 12:37am - health - by allison_fishing - United States

Today, a cute grl sitting next to me asked if she could use mah phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25563) - you deserved it (6600)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today... I witnessd my moter-in-law reac into my wife's purse an practically empty it out into er pocket. Wen I confrontd er an calld my wife into te room... bot of tem accusd me of lying troug my teet... because I've always atd er. FML

#20116821
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25540) - you deserved it (1714)

On 10/14/2012 at 4:57pm - money - by hate enough to kill... (man) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me . I held mah breath slightly . This resulted in me breathing out through mah nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face . He looked at me in horror an walked away . FML

#20106995
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25465) - you deserved it (5170)

On 10/08/2012 at 3:14am - love - by stoych (woman) - United Kingdom

TADAY I SHOWD MY FRIENDS THE PICTURE I DREW PICTURING THE FOUR OF US IN A 'ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE' SETTING. TURNS OUT THEY NEVER SAW ME AS THERE FRIEND, AN I'M CREEPING THEM OUT. FML

#20128150
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25379) - you deserved it (7727)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by Nana (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today , My College Class Was Talking About Felix Baumgartner,ho Jumpd From The Edge Of Space Down To Earth!! A Boy Suddenly Put His Head Up And Said In A Serious Tone , "I Thought He Jumpd From The Moon?" Several Girls Concurrd!! This Is My Generation!! FML

#20121409
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25353) - you deserved it (1990)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm - kids - by Mouse (woman) -

2day I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week . We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy . Great, my dog is a racist . FML

#20097984
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25300) - you deserved it (2649)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I Was Watching A Movie With My Boyfriend, When Things Got A Little Frisky And We Startd Making Out. It Was My Frst Time French-kissing, And Apparently He Has A Very Sensitive Gag Reflex, Cuz The Moment My Tongue Went In, He Startd Retching, And Vomitd Moments Later. FML

#20134512
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25250) - you deserved it (3415)

On 10/26/2012 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

today my boss fird ma bacausa of tha way I laugh. Apparantly it raminds him too much of his ax-wifa's laugh. I'm a guy. FML

#20108910
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25210) - you deserved it (1964)

On 10/09/2012 at 9:57am - work - by Johnnogood (man) - United States (New York)

yesterday boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty grls. FML

#20097040
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25162) - you deserved it (2010)

On 10/01/2012 at 5:09pm - love - by Lisa - United States (New York)

TODAY IT WAS MAH UNCLE'S FUNERAL . I WASN'T VERY CLOSE WITH HIM , BUT I STILL WANTED TO BE RESPECTFUL . MY BOYFRIEND , BIENG THE JACKASS THAT HE IS , WAS SINGING THE SPIDER PIG SONG FROM THE SIMPSONS UNDER HIS BREATH WHILE MAKING HIS FINGERS WALK UP MAH LEG , TRYING TO GET UNDER MAH SKIRT . REAL FML

#20096195
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25066) - you deserved it (6489)

On 10/01/2012 at 12:23am - love - by SorryUncleTommy (woman) - United States (New York)



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