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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

#20130988
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25259) - you deserved it (1534)

On 10/24/2012 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband and I decided to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adopted. Her response was, "Thank God!" FML

#20123551
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25159) - you deserved it (5972)

On 10/19/2012 at 3:59am - kids - by best_mom_ever (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

#20102964
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25135) - you deserved it (9023)

On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML

#20097984
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25118) - you deserved it (2636)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

#20119263
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24935) - you deserved it (2527)

On 10/16/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by Mike - United States

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to Christianity. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML

#20131695
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24815) - you deserved it (3143)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and best friend making out. His explanation was that he was trying to stop her from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter. FML

#20118571
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24786) - you deserved it (1599)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, the guy I've been madly in love with for ages finally asked me out. I excitedly said yes. I waited a half an hour for him to show up, with another girl and say, "Where's your date?" I was asked to go on a double date, but apparently he forgot to tell me. FML

#20108846
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24776) - you deserved it (1676)

On 10/09/2012 at 8:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learned why so much money has been missing from my credit card account. My boyfriend stole it, and has been buying toys for his 3 children. I never knew he had kids. FML

#20117313
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24763) - you deserved it (2522)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:19pm - money - by katie_sadface (woman) - Canada

Today, I tried to tell my best friend how wrong she is to be dating a married man, whose wife happens to be pregnant with their first child. Our talk ended with her calling me a "meddling, frigid bitch" and me being told this is why I can't get laid. FML

#20125357
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24747) - you deserved it (2329)

On 10/20/2012 at 2:50pm - misc - by Dillyduzit (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I fell down the stairs and landed heavily on my foot. Because I wasn't crying, my mom refused to take me to the hospital. It took me an hour of agony to convince her. It turned out to be broken in three different places. FML

#20098585
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24726) - you deserved it (1422)

On 10/02/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by ... - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML

#20127779
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24721) - you deserved it (3454)

On 10/22/2012 at 1:29am - love - by sausagefingers (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend and tell him that the red bumps around my nipples was heat rash, rather than admit it was actually razor burn. FML

#20110590
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24675) - you deserved it (8652)

On 10/10/2012 at 3:07pm - intimacy - by hairynips (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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