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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and best friend making out. His explanation was that he was trying to stop her from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter. FML

#20118571
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27182) - you deserved it (1794)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was talking to my future mother-in-law about my upcoming wedding. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have the wedding at a church, nor wear a white dress, nor have roses for flowers, because that would mean I'd be "copying" her. FML

#20115456
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27110) - you deserved it (1479)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

#20119263
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27098) - you deserved it (2701)

On 10/16/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by Mike - United States

Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML

#20132231
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27031) - you deserved it (1607)

On 10/25/2012 at 12:37am - health - by allison_fishing - United States

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

#20141378
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27001) - you deserved it (1906)

On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

#20106995
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26933) - you deserved it (5416)

On 10/08/2012 at 3:14am - love - by stoych (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to Christianity. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML

#20131695
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26885) - you deserved it (3381)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I learned why so much money has been missing from my credit card account. My boyfriend stole it, and has been buying toys for his 3 children. I never knew he had kids. FML

#20117313
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26822) - you deserved it (2692)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:19pm - money - by katie_sadface (woman) - Canada

Today, my husband and I decided to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adopted. Her response was, "Thank God!" FML

#20123551
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26801) - you deserved it (6185)

On 10/19/2012 at 3:59am - kids - by best_mom_ever (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML

#20096658
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26793) - you deserved it (3503)

On 10/01/2012 at 11:02am - love - by fiftyno (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML

#20140430
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26750) - you deserved it (2551)

On 10/30/2012 at 5:26pm - misc - by rarara - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I fell down the stairs and landed heavily on my foot. Because I wasn't crying, my mom refused to take me to the hospital. It took me an hour of agony to convince her. It turned out to be broken in three different places. FML

#20098585
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26735) - you deserved it (1561)

On 10/02/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by ... - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

#20109154
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26727) - you deserved it (3101)

On 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by FarmerGirl - Canada (Quebec)



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