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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

#20137933
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26971) - you deserved it (3297)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by becca (woman) - United States

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

#20106995
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26908) - you deserved it (5413)

On 10/08/2012 at 3:14am - love - by stoych (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

#20102964
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26880) - you deserved it (9350)

On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to Christianity. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML

#20131695
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26843) - you deserved it (3380)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I learned why so much money has been missing from my credit card account. My boyfriend stole it, and has been buying toys for his 3 children. I never knew he had kids. FML

#20117313
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26789) - you deserved it (2688)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:19pm - money - by katie_sadface (woman) - Canada

Today, my husband and I decided to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adopted. Her response was, "Thank God!" FML

#20123551
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26777) - you deserved it (6178)

On 10/19/2012 at 3:59am - kids - by best_mom_ever (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML

#20096658
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26758) - you deserved it (3501)

On 10/01/2012 at 11:02am - love - by fiftyno (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML

#20140430
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26730) - you deserved it (2550)

On 10/30/2012 at 5:26pm - misc - by rarara - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I fell down the stairs and landed heavily on my foot. Because I wasn't crying, my mom refused to take me to the hospital. It took me an hour of agony to convince her. It turned out to be broken in three different places. FML

#20098585
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26699) - you deserved it (1558)

On 10/02/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by ... - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and best friend making out. His explanation was that he was trying to stop her from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter. FML

#20118571
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26693) - you deserved it (1749)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

#20109154
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26692) - you deserved it (3100)

On 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by FarmerGirl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I tried to tell my best friend how wrong she is to be dating a married man, whose wife happens to be pregnant with their first child. Our talk ended with her calling me a "meddling, frigid bitch" and me being told this is why I can't get laid. FML

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

#20101402
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26665) - you deserved it (2038)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



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