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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML

#20130811
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28871) - you deserved it (2453)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:15am - kids - by BobsBabe2 - United States

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

#20134273
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28675) - you deserved it (2788)

On 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by fiftyshardsofbroccoli (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that despite having told them two years ago, my parents still aren't accepting of me being gay. I found this out when my mom called and asked if I was "cured" yet. FML

#20131666
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28547) - you deserved it (5162)

On 10/24/2012 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, at work, I got to wait on one of those tables where everyone had very complex orders, and some of them sent their food back. When the time finally came for me to bring them their check and receive my well-earned tip, I returned only to discover that they'd dined and dashed. FML

#20099582
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28519) - you deserved it (1894)

On 10/03/2012 at 4:07am - work - by WaitedOut (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML

#20140639
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28269) - you deserved it (2197)

On 10/30/2012 at 7:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML

#20140254
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28176) - you deserved it (3967)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:45pm - animals - by Lilly - United States

Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment for her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room for hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML

#20117570
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28167) - you deserved it (9575)

On 10/15/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28137) - you deserved it (3443)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML

#20104660
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28015) - you deserved it (1987)

On 10/06/2012 at 6:58pm - animals - by banj0 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I applied for a job as a secretary. As I sat in the waiting room, the interviewer came out with his wife. She gave me a once-over, then said to her husband, "Hire this one. She's so ugly, you would never have an affair with her." FML

#20109957
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27943) - you deserved it (1842)

On 10/10/2012 at 12:15am - work - by caltech (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

#20102964
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27913) - you deserved it (9547)

On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27854) - you deserved it (7082)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

#20137933
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27808) - you deserved it (3397)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by becca (woman) - United States



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