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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had my first orgasm. Unfortunately, it was during breakup sex. FML

#20110068
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31070) - you deserved it (8521)

On 10/10/2012 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Depression... (woman) - United States

Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML

#20102155
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31069) - you deserved it (3798)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML

#20098929
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30931) - you deserved it (2521)

On 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by praise the prenup (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML

#20134676
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30862) - you deserved it (1763)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:14pm - animals - by birthday girl (woman) - Australia

Today, after confronting my boyfriend about cheating on me, he confessed to everything. I was caught off guard by his honesty, but not nearly as caught off guard as I was when he eagerly questioned me on when our breakup sex will be. FML

#20113249
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30726) - you deserved it (2825)

On 10/12/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by You're NOT getting lucky today hun (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML

#20138883
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30670) - you deserved it (5929)

On 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm - intimacy - by le_evan - United States (California)

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30412) - you deserved it (1983)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML

#20139255
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29943) - you deserved it (4969)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML

#20136326
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29934) - you deserved it (6469)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Ceej - United States (Michigan)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29893) - you deserved it (4534)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

#20133203
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29884) - you deserved it (2473)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was placed firmly in the friend-zone. By my wife. We've been married 10 years. She doesn't want a divorce, she says it'd be too "time-consuming." FML

#20111577
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29792) - you deserved it (2180)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:56am - love - by agh marriage (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML

#20136351
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29760) - you deserved it (2416)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:22am - love - by prettylady? - United States



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