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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a romantic date to a botanical garden in the hills. A giant bushfire erupted in the hills on our way, meaning we're now stuck out here because the roads are closed. So romantic. FML

#20132703
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14732) - you deserved it (1914)

On 10/25/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by not even a sexy bushfire - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML

#20125284
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14497) - you deserved it (3263)

On 10/20/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by nahalDZ - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was riding the subway home with some friends, and when I noticed something smelled awful. My friends noticed it too. After searching for the source of the smell, it became apparent that it was my breath. FML

#20096394
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14424) - you deserved it (14634)

On 10/01/2012 at 3:18am - health - by halitosis - United States (California)

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14373) - you deserved it (55970)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I've been a vegan for a year. It's also the day that I met my dad's new best friend, who happens to be a retired butcher. They tried to pull an intervention on me for not "being sensible" by eating meat. FML

#20099840
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14211) - you deserved it (15451)

On 10/03/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by Jlhfan90 - United States

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

#20137874
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14143) - you deserved it (2482)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML

#20099743
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13197) - you deserved it (30181)

On 10/03/2012 at 9:47am - misc - by lonerboner (woman) - United States

Today, I had to pick my parents up from the hospital and drive them back home, after they were treated for eating large amounts of cheese that my dad claimed to have "aged" for several years. FML

#20116789
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13125) - you deserved it (857)

On 10/14/2012 at 4:36pm - health - by oppafucktardstyle (man) - United States (New York)

Today, on the first cold night of autumn, I realized I need a girlfriend because the only way I can stay warm is if I spoon with my dog. FML

#20127903
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13120) - you deserved it (3868)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by sadguyme (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML

#20126033
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12933) - you deserved it (9600)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother was digging up our Halloween decorations, and found the Christmas decorations as well. She's shoddily decorated the house already in half-Halloween and half-Christmas style to save time. I guess we'll be celebrating Christmasween for the rest of the year. FML

#20103809
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12891) - you deserved it (1345)

On 10/06/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Joey - United States (Nevada)

Today, I realized that every targeted advertisement on my Facebook involves gym memberships and diet pills. FML

#20096947
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12739) - you deserved it (3941)

On 10/01/2012 at 4:04pm - health - by liveviathetredmill - United States (New York)

Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML

#20122007
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12229) - you deserved it (3500)

On 10/18/2012 at 1:33am - animals - by Anonymous - United States



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