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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized that at age 54, I'm no longer young enough to go commando anymore. Every time I sneezed today, I peed myself. FML

#20102528
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13512) - you deserved it (9748)

On 10/05/2012 at 4:14am - health - by Darla (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I forgot to pay for my train ride for the first time. Today was also the first time I've ever seen transit security checking for people's tickets and kicking offenders off. FML

#20125823
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13408) - you deserved it (3267)

On 10/20/2012 at 9:59pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was riding the subway home with some friends, and when I noticed something smelled awful. My friends noticed it too. After searching for the source of the smell, it became apparent that it was my breath. FML

#20096394
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13408) - you deserved it (13548)

On 10/01/2012 at 3:18am - health - by halitosis - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML

#20099743
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13129) - you deserved it (30062)

On 10/03/2012 at 9:47am - misc - by lonerboner (woman) - United States

Today, on the first cold night of autumn, I realized I need a girlfriend because the only way I can stay warm is if I spoon with my dog. FML

#20127903
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12990) - you deserved it (3856)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by sadguyme (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to pick my parents up from the hospital and drive them back home, after they were treated for eating large amounts of cheese that my dad claimed to have "aged" for several years. FML

#20116789
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12972) - you deserved it (849)

On 10/14/2012 at 4:36pm - health - by oppafucktardstyle (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML

#20111523
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12926) - you deserved it (1679)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:08am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML

#20126033
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12813) - you deserved it (9576)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother was digging up our Halloween decorations, and found the Christmas decorations as well. She's shoddily decorated the house already in half-Halloween and half-Christmas style to save time. I guess we'll be celebrating Christmasween for the rest of the year. FML

#20103809
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12768) - you deserved it (1344)

On 10/06/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Joey - United States (Nevada)

Today, I realized that every targeted advertisement on my Facebook involves gym memberships and diet pills. FML

#20096947
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12639) - you deserved it (3930)

On 10/01/2012 at 4:04pm - health - by liveviathetredmill - United States (New York)

Today, I've been a vegan for a year. It's also the day that I met my dad's new best friend, who happens to be a retired butcher. They tried to pull an intervention on me for not "being sensible" by eating meat. FML

#20099840
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12209) - you deserved it (13636)

On 10/03/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by Jlhfan90 - United States

Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML

#20122007
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12134) - you deserved it (3483)

On 10/18/2012 at 1:33am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML

#20117136
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12002) - you deserved it (5629)

On 10/14/2012 at 8:45pm - kids - by amiliaroberts123 (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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