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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I purchased a brand new television. Not long after the professional who hung it on my wall left, it came crashing down on my hardwood floor. I'm now left with a busted TV, a tear in my living room wall, and a severely drained bank account. FML

#20125611
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20646) - you deserved it (2228)

On 10/20/2012 at 6:48pm - money - by fuck gangnam style in the anus - United States (California)

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

#20113670
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20420) - you deserved it (1991)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by firstdategonebad - Canada (Ontario)

Today, although I can't dance, I decided to go to a club. A really cute girl asked me to dance, and I politely declined. She kept insisting, so I finally said okay. A few minutes in, she stopped, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make fun of my dancing, I'm leaving." FML

#20096710
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20404) - you deserved it (2051)

On 10/01/2012 at 12:05pm - love - by IcantDance! - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

#20114046
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20379) - you deserved it (1290)

On 10/12/2012 at 8:18pm - misc - by atleastshelldiefirst (man) - United States

Today, I applied for a job as a secretary. As I sat in the waiting room, the interviewer came out with his wife. She gave me a once-over, then said to her husband, "Hire this one. She's so ugly, you would never have an affair with her." FML

#20109957
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20245) - you deserved it (1101)

On 10/10/2012 at 12:15am - work - by caltech (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML

#20138030
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20219) - you deserved it (4399)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:23am - animals - by lifelike (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my brother saw my side when my shirt came up, and asked when I got a tattoo; the pink he saw was in fact my stretch marks. Worst of all, I had to show them to everyone to prove I didn't actually get a tattoo. FML

#20096505
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20213) - you deserved it (2364)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:35am - health - by screw life (woman) - United States

Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML

#20097322
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20109) - you deserved it (2001)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by raz (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML

#20109681
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19989) - you deserved it (1829)

On 10/09/2012 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I babysat a 10-year-old and we played Pokémon. It was my first time playing, so he showed me. I ended up winning and the kid started crying and told his parents he hated me. They decided not to pay me for the night, and now I'm out of a job. FML

#20130128
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19939) - you deserved it (4060)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Pokemon problems - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19905) - you deserved it (2547)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

#20130988
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19897) - you deserved it (984)

On 10/24/2012 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while working, a woman complained that she didn't ask for sauce on her sandwich. After examining the sandwich, I realized it was just melted cheese. When I told her, she threw the sandwich at me. FML

#20099296
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19870) - you deserved it (1277)

On 10/02/2012 at 11:33pm - work - by Sara (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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