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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23170) - you deserved it (4263)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML

#20100263
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23123) - you deserved it (2178)

On 10/03/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by its just twister (man) - United States (California)

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

#20106106
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23077) - you deserved it (1706)

On 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm - kids - by Skidmark Sally - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML

#20133890
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23025) - you deserved it (1907)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:58am - health - by Weasel123 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

#20112873
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23011) - you deserved it (2163)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at the age of 57, my dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. FML

#20120590
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22931) - you deserved it (3889) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/17/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous - France (Bretagne)

Today, I passed out while I was with my boyfriend in his garden. I woke up on the concrete just outside his house. Apparently, he'd tried to carry me in, but because he was too weak, he gave up and went to watch TV. FML

#20131269
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22917) - you deserved it (3023)

On 10/24/2012 at 12:52pm - love - by Alice - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

#20113299
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22863) - you deserved it (5967)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:11am - health - by monkeyzz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, for the second day in a row, I was constantly abused, yelled at, insulted, and berated by my wife for "endangering our child's life." I took her to the doctor for a vaccination and flu shot yesterday. FML

#20121390
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22819) - you deserved it (3290)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by DrugsRX (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discovered one of the patients had developed an unhealthy obsession for me. He was admitted for stalking and abusing a girl who looked just like me. It's only my first week. FML

#20127982
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22796) - you deserved it (1504)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML

#20101015
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22763) - you deserved it (2757)

On 10/04/2012 at 3:13am - love - by DCarreon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I left the hospital after having knee surgery. While trying to find my balance on my crutches, I was holding onto the roof of the car. My mum slammed the car door shut, not noticing my hand. I can barely even bend my fingers to hold onto my crutches. FML

#20105201
78 comments

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22687) - you deserved it (4064)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States



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