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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

#20141826
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20970) - you deserved it (1392)

On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband informed me that he recently slept with a secretary of his to become better at sex for me. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he cheated on me or that he seriously believes that he has a reasonable excuse. FML

#20124966
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20968) - you deserved it (1279)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:49am - love - by Enragedbitch - United States (California)

Today, a one-eyed drunken homeless man followed me around the store I work at, screaming at me because I turned down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out because they thought it was funny. FML

#20119087
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20961) - you deserved it (1508)

On 10/16/2012 at 12:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

#20134692
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20937) - you deserved it (5434)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML

#20118333
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20937) - you deserved it (1899)

On 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Bug (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML

#20127779
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20916) - you deserved it (3031)

On 10/22/2012 at 1:29am - love - by sausagefingers (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom and I went out to a fancy and expensive restaurant per her request; she told me it was her treat. After we ate our meals and the large check came, she excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't come back. I was dine-and-dashed by my own mother. FML

#20122984
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20912) - you deserved it (1085)

On 10/18/2012 at 7:52pm - money - by BrokeAsFuck - United States

Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML

#20138333
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20873) - you deserved it (2002)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

#20109154
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20871) - you deserved it (2143)

On 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by FarmerGirl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, it was my uncle's funeral. I wasn't very close with him, but I still wanted to be respectful. My boyfriend, being the jackass that he is, was singing the Spider Pig song from The Simpsons under his breath while making his fingers walk up my leg, trying to get under my skirt. FML

#20096195
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20813) - you deserved it (5895)

On 10/01/2012 at 12:23am - love - by SorryUncleTommy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML

#20130407
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20779) - you deserved it (2359)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by SFra - United States

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

#20114536
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20747) - you deserved it (5153)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:35am - animals - by afraidtosleep - United States (Texas)

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20728) - you deserved it (3814)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States



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