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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML

#20135099
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22840) - you deserved it (6671)

On 10/27/2012 at 2:42am - work - by geena - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

#20112873
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22766) - you deserved it (2135)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I fell down the stairs and landed heavily on my foot. Because I wasn't crying, my mom refused to take me to the hospital. It took me an hour of agony to convince her. It turned out to be broken in three different places. FML

#20098585
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22763) - you deserved it (1283)

On 10/02/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by ... - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at a family reunion, we all squeezed in for a picture. I set the self-timer and ran to get in it. 2 seconds before the picture went off, some guy came up, stole the camera, and ran away. FML

#20118194
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22726) - you deserved it (1928)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:57pm - money - by Pissed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22689) - you deserved it (2948)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I decided to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adopted. Her response was, "Thank God!" FML

#20123551
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22680) - you deserved it (5631)

On 10/19/2012 at 3:59am - kids - by best_mom_ever (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML

#20132231
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22658) - you deserved it (1292)

On 10/25/2012 at 12:37am - health - by allison_fishing - United States

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22613) - you deserved it (4204)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, I showed my friends the picture I drew picturing the four of us in a 'zombie apocalypse' setting. Turns out they never saw me as their friend, and I'm creeping them out. FML

#20128150
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22578) - you deserved it (7225)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by Nana (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, I was placed firmly in the friend-zone. By my wife. We've been married 10 years. She doesn't want a divorce, she says it'd be too "time-consuming." FML

#20111577
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22574) - you deserved it (1413)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:56am - love - by agh marriage (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the girl I'm dating mentioned that she'd had her healthy wisdom teeth removed to prevent her future children from having wisdom teeth. I laughed. She wasn't joking. FML

Today, it was my uncle's funeral. I wasn't very close with him, but I still wanted to be respectful. My boyfriend, being the jackass that he is, was singing the Spider Pig song from The Simpsons under his breath while making his fingers walk up my leg, trying to get under my skirt. FML

#20096195
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22528) - you deserved it (6142)

On 10/01/2012 at 12:23am - love - by SorryUncleTommy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML

#20101222
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22453) - you deserved it (2377)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:44am - love - by Dave (man) - United States



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