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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was talking to my future mother-in-law about my upcoming wedding. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have the wedding at a church, nor wear a white dress, nor have roses for flowers, because that would mean I'd be "copying" her. FML

#20115456
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26906) - you deserved it (1468)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my mom and I went out to a fancy and expensive restaurant per her request; she told me it was her treat. After we ate our meals and the large check came, she excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't come back. I was dine-and-dashed by my own mother. FML

#20122984
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26894) - you deserved it (1624)

On 10/18/2012 at 7:52pm - money - by BrokeAsFuck - United States

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

#20141378
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26786) - you deserved it (1896)

On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband informed me that he recently slept with a secretary of his to become better at sex for me. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he cheated on me or that he seriously believes that he has a reasonable excuse. FML

#20124966
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26727) - you deserved it (1897)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:49am - love - by Enragedbitch - United States (California)

Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML

#20096658
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26561) - you deserved it (3490)

On 10/01/2012 at 11:02am - love - by fiftyno (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML

#20140430
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26540) - you deserved it (2537)

On 10/30/2012 at 5:26pm - misc - by rarara - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

#20109154
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26510) - you deserved it (3076)

On 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by FarmerGirl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found a ticket on my motorcycle for not parking in a designated spot. The space I had parked my bike in was occupied by a large van. Some asshole had moved my bike. FML

Today, I was loudly bitched out by someone for speaking in a fake British accent, to make myself "sound sophisticated". I moved here two years ago from London. FML

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

#20137933
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26303) - you deserved it (3231)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by becca (woman) - United States

Today, I went bowling. I noticed a 10-year-old holding an iPod Touch which had the exact same customized case with my name on it as my iPod that was stolen a year ago at the same bowling centre. Even better, the parents yelled at me for accusing him. I got kicked out the bowling centre. FML

Today, I applied for a job as a secretary. As I sat in the waiting room, the interviewer came out with his wife. She gave me a once-over, then said to her husband, "Hire this one. She's so ugly, you would never have an affair with her." FML

#20109957
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26179) - you deserved it (1725)

On 10/10/2012 at 12:15am - work - by caltech (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought professional hair clippers to shave down below, thinking it would be safer than using a razor. Let's just say the bathroom now looks like a murder scene, and it's going to be a while before I have sex again. FML

#20124733
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26126) - you deserved it (11214)

On 10/20/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)



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