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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dad wants me to spray a wasp nest, because I'm the fittest family member and can run the fastest. The wasps are already angry, and I'm allergic to them. FML

#20052266
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23542) - you deserved it (1502)

On 09/01/2012 at 10:09am - health - by iliveintexas - United States (Texas)

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

#20071617
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23508) - you deserved it (1933)

On 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

#20074793
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23453) - you deserved it (2290)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:48pm - health - by Derp McShitstain (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

#20069788
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23443) - you deserved it (4715)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23423) - you deserved it (3180)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was really impressed with the man I've been in a relationship with for over 2 years. He had finally really cleaned his apartment. Everything was washed and fixed, even my stuff was cleared from open surfaces. All so his lover would not find out about me. FML

#20094642
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23350) - you deserved it (2047)

On 09/30/2012 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, someone brought cake to class. Trying to get some attention from the guy I have a crush on, I asked if he wanted my piece of cake. He accepted it, and then offered it to another girl. FML

#20077941
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23347) - you deserved it (4216)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:07pm - love - by emselin - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, after having lost 11 pounds following my pregnancy, I felt sexy and put on a cute outfit for my husband. When he walked into the bedroom, he ended up passing me three times, and then went to bed without a word. FML

#20077825
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23346) - you deserved it (2419)

On 09/18/2012 at 2:24pm - love - by tiffany - Canada

Today, a woman came up to me at work and screamed at me for "taking forever" to come and wait at her table. I work at Wendy's. FML

#20056260
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23303) - you deserved it (1587)

On 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm - work - by FastFoodWaiter (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I decided to look for the horrid stench coming from my bathroom. It turns out my roommate has been throwing away her used tampons in the "trashcan by the sink." That "trashcan" is my old antique vase. FML

#20077513
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23300) - you deserved it (2283)

On 09/18/2012 at 7:56am - misc - by raesos91 - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML

#20054113
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23284) - you deserved it (3724)

On 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML

#20078344
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23267) - you deserved it (1597)

On 09/18/2012 at 8:42pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized that I spend more money on gas to go to my job than what I get paid. FML

#20086643
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23181) - you deserved it (3048)

On 09/24/2012 at 2:21pm - work - by izziegrl - Mexico (Mexico)



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