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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML

#20075207
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28587) - you deserved it (3782)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:50pm - love - by painfetish8021 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28562) - you deserved it (5048)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML

#20095343
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28537) - you deserved it (3113)

On 09/30/2012 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by whatswrongwithit?:( (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. FML

#20077908
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28368) - you deserved it (3378)

On 09/18/2012 at 3:51pm - kids - by unfortunateMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

#20067539
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28297) - you deserved it (5862)

On 09/11/2012 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by apparently inexperienced (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

#20084737
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28292) - you deserved it (11196)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

#20057050
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28272) - you deserved it (1510)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:53am - misc - by hooligyn123 - United States

Today, I was so happy to be leaving the hospital after breaking my arm the night before. Just as I walked out of the doors, a huge ambulance team was running in at the same time and knocked me down full force. I now have a broken ankle. FML

#20091853
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28015) - you deserved it (2113)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:34am - health - by red_headforlife - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML

#20090883
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27750) - you deserved it (1660)

On 09/27/2012 at 11:31am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

#20054615
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27743) - you deserved it (4621)

On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML

#20075771
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27670) - you deserved it (2126)

On 09/17/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by twinkletoes (woman) - United States

Today, I got fired for saving my company upwards of $6,000. I'm as confused as you are. FML



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