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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

#20057050
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30273) - you deserved it (1643)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:53am - misc - by hooligyn123 - United States

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

#20084737
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30022) - you deserved it (11635)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML

#20088350
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30022) - you deserved it (1657)

On 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by burn in hell (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I realized just how clingy my boyfriend is, when he pulled out in the middle of sex, lay down and hugged me, and said in his "adorable" voice that he didn't really want to have sex, but cuddle. I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so often. FML

#20088123
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30019) - you deserved it (4683)

On 09/25/2012 at 1:42pm - intimacy - by orgasmsareoverratedanyway (woman) - Norway (Nordland)

Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML

#20065720
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29984) - you deserved it (3109)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:39am - kids - by well okay then (woman) - United States

Today, I got fired for saving my company upwards of $6,000. I'm as confused as you are. FML

Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML

#20073337
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29844) - you deserved it (6568)

On 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm - love - by hannah (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, after months of believing my marriage has been better than ever, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with our neighbor. I can't afford to move, and I have to see the fake-titted homewrecker every day. FML

#20089553
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29761) - you deserved it (2174)

On 09/26/2012 at 1:07pm - love - by sucker (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

#20094225
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29725) - you deserved it (4571)

On 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML

#20058325
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29563) - you deserved it (9587)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:44am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29302) - you deserved it (5169)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, it's been a week since I've been in hospital. No one has been to visit me. The nurses have nicknamed me "The Lonely One." FML

#20071345
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29280) - you deserved it (1769)

On 09/14/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by lonely one - United States

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML

#20054049
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29214) - you deserved it (2855)

On 09/02/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by ImOverHere (woman) - United States (Texas)



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