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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I spent five minutes sitting in my car, panicking and tearing my purse apart because I couldn't find my keys. I then found them. They were in the ignition, and the car was running. FML

#20066828
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7529) - you deserved it (28750)

On 09/10/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by mrs14 - United States

Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML

#20057702
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7118) - you deserved it (22305)

On 09/04/2012 at 6:02pm - misc - by CantPublish - United States

Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML

#20060053
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6942) - you deserved it (24728)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:39am - misc - by ohhhemmgee - United States (Nevada)

Today, at work, I was talking to a Scottish woman when my coworker and I both told her we were also Scottish. To this she replied, "We Scottish people get around." I then said, "Tell me about it, I'm one of four siblings from my dad, he definitely gets around." She was talking about travel. FML

#20069784
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6830) - you deserved it (19963)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:19am - work - by jcedarholm (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was leaving the grocery store, I realized my ignition key was missing from my pocket. After searching the car and retracing my steps, I walked all the way home. Later, when we went to retrieve the car, the key was sitting in plain sight on the passenger seat. FML

Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML

#20073029
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6544) - you deserved it (30876)

On 09/15/2012 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I wrote an e-mail to a friend stating how hot my client was. I waited for her response, but received a response from my client stating, "I would readdress this accordingly." FML

#20061515
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6426) - you deserved it (29198)

On 09/07/2012 at 2:49am - work - by guaranteed service (woman) - United States

Today, I went out clubbing with a few friends. A cute guy pointed at me from the bar and motioned for me to come over. I was excited and did just that. Turns out he just wanted to ask me if I'd thought about seeing a doctor for my jaundice. No, I just overdid my spray tan. FML

#20055735
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6212) - you deserved it (30135)

On 09/03/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, feeling angry at the world, I threw a bottle, that had been clearly marked to be recycled, into a garbage can as an act of defiance. Minutes later, I guiltily retreated and spent the next few minutes with my entire arm stuck up the stinking ass of a city garbage can. FML

#20069676
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6016) - you deserved it (32870)

On 09/12/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I woke up to a bunch of email notifications confirming all the drunken purchases I made last night on Amazon. Most of them can't be cancelled. This is the fourth time in a month. An "ironic" wolf-howling-at-the-moon t-shirt anyone? FML

#20055119
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5404) - you deserved it (31279)

On 09/03/2012 at 1:24am - money - by DrunkenShopper (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML

#20062299
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5212) - you deserved it (48905)

On 09/07/2012 at 8:26pm - misc - by scumbag i guess - United States (Texas)



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