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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24158) - you deserved it (2806)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my dentist dropped my bite plate for x-rays on the ground, picked it up, looked at it intently, took a couple of hairs off, and shoved it back into my mouth. FML

#20068205
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24149) - you deserved it (1886)

On 09/11/2012 at 10:24pm - health - by ledentist - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my grandparents took me out for dinner for my birthday. After singing, "Happy birthday dear..." they froze. I had to say my own name because they'd forgotten it. FML

#20058422
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24090) - you deserved it (1555)

On 09/05/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by holymoly - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML

#20087510
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24089) - you deserved it (2341)

On 09/25/2012 at 12:13am - health - by N/A (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24074) - you deserved it (3666)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the guy I have been seeing left town to visit his family for three weeks. A few hours later, he called me from the airport to say he is never coming back. FML

#20076048
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24015) - you deserved it (1916)

On 09/17/2012 at 10:15am - love - by jlee0000785 (woman) - Australia

Today, my mum found out she's pregnant. I would be happy for her, if she knew who the father was. FML

#20060753
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23990) - you deserved it (1691)

On 09/06/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, we had movers come in to take all of our stuff as the final step to our move to the States. We have our flight scheduled for tomorrow evening. Thing is, they accidentally took my carry-on bag without my knowledge. In that carry-on there was a little something called a passport. FML

#20093240
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23934) - you deserved it (2929)

On 09/29/2012 at 3:39am - misc - by bluefrisky - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML

#20068907
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23904) - you deserved it (2054)

On 09/12/2012 at 2:31pm - animals - by shadokis (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23866) - you deserved it (3890)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met my husband's family for the first time. My nightmare versions were better. FML

#20055328
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23827) - you deserved it (2581)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML

#20064293
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23758) - you deserved it (4498)

On 09/09/2012 at 4:34am - love - by JB (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I held hands with a male mannequin in a department store, just to remember what holding hands felt like. FML

#20069351
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23690) - you deserved it (5874)

On 09/12/2012 at 8:26pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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