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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dad wants me to spray a wasp nest, because I'm the fittest family member and can run the fastest. The wasps are already angry, and I'm allergic to them. FML

#20052266
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27231) - you deserved it (1762)

On 09/01/2012 at 10:09am - health - by iliveintexas - United States (Texas)

Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML

#20077707
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27198) - you deserved it (4504)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:19pm - animals - by Birdwatcher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

#20071617
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27170) - you deserved it (2220)

On 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML

#20054113
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27128) - you deserved it (4161)

On 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was really impressed with the man I've been in a relationship with for over 2 years. He had finally really cleaned his apartment. Everything was washed and fixed, even my stuff was cleared from open surfaces. All so his lover would not find out about me. FML

#20094642
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27069) - you deserved it (2339)

On 09/30/2012 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I decided to look for the horrid stench coming from my bathroom. It turns out my roommate has been throwing away her used tampons in the "trashcan by the sink." That "trashcan" is my old antique vase. FML

#20077513
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27047) - you deserved it (2642)

On 09/18/2012 at 7:56am - misc - by raesos91 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

#20074793
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27024) - you deserved it (2612)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:48pm - health - by Derp McShitstain (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, someone brought cake to class. Trying to get some attention from the guy I have a crush on, I asked if he wanted my piece of cake. He accepted it, and then offered it to another girl. FML

#20077941
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27010) - you deserved it (4692)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:07pm - love - by emselin - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I held hands with a male mannequin in a department store, just to remember what holding hands felt like. FML

#20069351
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26938) - you deserved it (6456)

On 09/12/2012 at 8:26pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML

#20078344
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26839) - you deserved it (1875)

On 09/18/2012 at 8:42pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while working security at a welfare office, I had to listen as a claimant gushed about her upcoming Caribbean cruise. I work two jobs and haven't had a vacation since 2006. FML

#20092291
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26709) - you deserved it (1912)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by getajob (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after weeks of dealing with a bad hair cut, my hair finally grew back to my preferred length. Today is also the day my roommate replaced my shampoo with hair remover as a prank. FML

#20084656
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26667) - you deserved it (1691)

On 09/23/2012 at 4:14am - misc - by Hairless freak - United States (California)

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

#20054806
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26592) - you deserved it (2319)

On 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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