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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out my husband has been talking to another woman on Facebook. His only defense was "I thought I deleted the messages." FML

#20051914
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26792) - you deserved it (2939)

On 09/01/2012 at 2:02am - love - by gmac0417 - United States

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

#20089658
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26754) - you deserved it (3090)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Juiced (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my fiancé told me that the thought of having sex with a pregnant woman repulsed him. I'm pregnant. He's glad he got that off his chest FML

#20061168
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26682) - you deserved it (3771)

On 09/06/2012 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by thankshun13 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML

#20076675
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26656) - you deserved it (2458)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by wtf yourself, cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML

#20087510
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26653) - you deserved it (2607)

On 09/25/2012 at 12:13am - health - by N/A (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26560) - you deserved it (3919)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML

#20068907
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26536) - you deserved it (2307)

On 09/12/2012 at 2:31pm - animals - by shadokis (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

#20058507
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26476) - you deserved it (5048)

On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML

#20058797
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26454) - you deserved it (2248)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, an incredibly rude woman came in for a hairdressing appointment. I had to put up with being yelled at and called a "clumsy bitch," a "pleb," and other insults for almost half an hour. When I finally managed to finish her hair, instead of tipping me, she spat at my feet and stormed out. FML

#20093857
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26433) - you deserved it (2080)

On 09/29/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by scumdresser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

#20071617
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26416) - you deserved it (2176)

On 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

#20069788
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26401) - you deserved it (5058)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad wants me to spray a wasp nest, because I'm the fittest family member and can run the fastest. The wasps are already angry, and I'm allergic to them. FML

#20052266
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26330) - you deserved it (1713)

On 09/01/2012 at 10:09am - health - by iliveintexas - United States (Texas)



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