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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

#20072449
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25033) - you deserved it (2256)

On 09/15/2012 at 1:35am - intimacy - by anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25001) - you deserved it (2556)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad wants me to spray a wasp nest, because I'm the fittest family member and can run the fastest. The wasps are already angry, and I'm allergic to them. FML

#20052266
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24947) - you deserved it (1606)

On 09/01/2012 at 10:09am - health - by iliveintexas - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my husband has been talking to another woman on Facebook. His only defense was "I thought I deleted the messages." FML

#20051914
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24932) - you deserved it (2748)

On 09/01/2012 at 2:02am - love - by gmac0417 - United States

Today, a very attractive man asked me out. I'd have been flattered if I weren't the nurse assigned to his laboring wife. FML

#20086071
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24894) - you deserved it (1466)

On 09/24/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by Hello Nurse (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML

#20077707
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24804) - you deserved it (4243)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:19pm - animals - by Birdwatcher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cotton swab shoved up my cock's piss-pipe. FML

#20057281
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24722) - you deserved it (8435)

On 09/04/2012 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

#20058507
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24711) - you deserved it (4819)

On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML

#20062989
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24701) - you deserved it (4996)

On 09/08/2012 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he says, "There's too much of an age gap between us" and that it makes him "feel like a pedophile". He's only four months older than I am. FML

#20086279
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24694) - you deserved it (1691)

On 09/24/2012 at 4:15am - love - by Alright. (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, after completely refilling my almost empty gas tank, I witnessed the price flip from $3.69 per gallon to $3.59. FML

#20082194
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (2183)

On 09/21/2012 at 2:49pm - money - by The Drew - United States

Today, my mother texted me that she was in labor. She never told me she was pregnant. Apparently she's engaged too. FML

#20091458
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24554) - you deserved it (1822)

On 09/27/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to look for the horrid stench coming from my bathroom. It turns out my roommate has been throwing away her used tampons in the "trashcan by the sink." That "trashcan" is my old antique vase. FML

#20077513
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24479) - you deserved it (2384)

On 09/18/2012 at 7:56am - misc - by raesos91 - United States (Texas)



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