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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML

#20085042
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25499) - you deserved it (1912)

On 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by creepedasfuck (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML

#20061927
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25413) - you deserved it (2981)

On 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by PuddlePirate (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I'm so broke that I hand-washed my socks with a bar of soap that I stole from work. FML

#20058884
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25401) - you deserved it (2629)

On 09/05/2012 at 2:27pm - money - by Lauraborealous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

#20083352
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25361) - you deserved it (25662)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)

Today, I held hands with a male mannequin in a department store, just to remember what holding hands felt like. FML

#20069351
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25328) - you deserved it (6140)

On 09/12/2012 at 8:26pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML

#20077707
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25295) - you deserved it (4290)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:19pm - animals - by Birdwatcher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25287) - you deserved it (3386)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my mother shared my phone number with my brother, despite my explicit wishes that she didn't. He immediately went and put it on Craigslist and several other websites. This is the fourth time I've had to change my number for that very same reason. FML

#20066134
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25281) - you deserved it (1993)

On 09/10/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

#20089658
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25204) - you deserved it (2934)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Juiced (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

#20069788
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25183) - you deserved it (4922)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom heard on TV that teens need at least ten hours of sleep a day. Now she makes me go to bed at 7pm. I told her I can't finish my homework in time, and my grades will suffer. She wouldn't listen. Last week, she threatened to punish me if I don't get straight As this semester. FML

#20085093
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25156) - you deserved it (1683)

On 09/23/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25071) - you deserved it (2562)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad wants me to spray a wasp nest, because I'm the fittest family member and can run the fastest. The wasps are already angry, and I'm allergic to them. FML

#20052266
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25033) - you deserved it (1614)

On 09/01/2012 at 10:09am - health - by iliveintexas - United States (Texas)



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