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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML

#20080998
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25194) - you deserved it (1309)

On 09/20/2012 at 5:34pm - health - by fuckalltwitardsintheface (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

#20069788
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25147) - you deserved it (4919)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

#20089658
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25143) - you deserved it (2933)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Juiced (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom heard on TV that teens need at least ten hours of sleep a day. Now she makes me go to bed at 7pm. I told her I can't finish my homework in time, and my grades will suffer. She wouldn't listen. Last week, she threatened to punish me if I don't get straight As this semester. FML

#20085093
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25103) - you deserved it (1682)

On 09/23/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

#20072449
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25069) - you deserved it (2256)

On 09/15/2012 at 1:35am - intimacy - by anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25037) - you deserved it (2557)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad wants me to spray a wasp nest, because I'm the fittest family member and can run the fastest. The wasps are already angry, and I'm allergic to them. FML

#20052266
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24977) - you deserved it (1610)

On 09/01/2012 at 10:09am - health - by iliveintexas - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my husband has been talking to another woman on Facebook. His only defense was "I thought I deleted the messages." FML

#20051914
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24963) - you deserved it (2752)

On 09/01/2012 at 2:02am - love - by gmac0417 - United States

Today, a very attractive man asked me out. I'd have been flattered if I weren't the nurse assigned to his laboring wife. FML

#20086071
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24929) - you deserved it (1467)

On 09/24/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by Hello Nurse (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML

#20077707
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24847) - you deserved it (4249)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:19pm - animals - by Birdwatcher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cotton swab shoved up my cock's piss-pipe. FML

#20057281
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24753) - you deserved it (8440)

On 09/04/2012 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

#20058507
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24753) - you deserved it (4824)

On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he says, "There's too much of an age gap between us" and that it makes him "feel like a pedophile". He's only four months older than I am. FML

#20086279
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24734) - you deserved it (1697)

On 09/24/2012 at 4:15am - love - by Alright. (woman) - United States (Montana)



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