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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend and I had breakfast with his grandmother. She told him how I'm prettier than "that Mexican" he'd brought home for dinner last week. We had dinner with her last week, and I'm that same Mexican. She then went on to how Mexicans are what's wrong with the economy. FML

#20071462
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26058) - you deserved it (2659)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:13am - misc - by MexicanMe (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend was showing me photos on his iPod when he came across a photo of a half-naked girl. He tried to play it off by quickly changing it, only to reveal even more half-naked girls. FML

#20065430
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26019) - you deserved it (2872)

On 09/09/2012 at 10:12pm - love - by hatemyluck (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML

#20086696
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25865) - you deserved it (2343)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

#20064384
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25837) - you deserved it (6142)

On 09/09/2012 at 8:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I attended my 10-year high school reunion. My ex-husband's new wife showed up in the same dress as mine. I guess both the dress and my ex-husband look better on her. FML

#20055300
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25783) - you deserved it (2150)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:17am - love - by ugly (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that, for over three years, my boyfriend has solely been dating me to get closer to my mom. Apparently, "she's a total MILF." FML

#20077204
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25713) - you deserved it (2022)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:25am - love - by daughter (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML

#20090890
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25552) - you deserved it (1838)

On 09/27/2012 at 11:46am - health - by Dave (man) - United Kingdom

Today, an incredibly rude woman came in for a hairdressing appointment. I had to put up with being yelled at and called a "clumsy bitch," a "pleb," and other insults for almost half an hour. When I finally managed to finish her hair, instead of tipping me, she spat at my feet and stormed out. FML

#20093857
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25518) - you deserved it (2011)

On 09/29/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by scumdresser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25481) - you deserved it (3820)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML

#20085042
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25477) - you deserved it (1910)

On 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by creepedasfuck (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML

#20061927
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25390) - you deserved it (2981)

On 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by PuddlePirate (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I'm so broke that I hand-washed my socks with a bar of soap that I stole from work. FML

#20058884
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25377) - you deserved it (2626)

On 09/05/2012 at 2:27pm - money - by Lauraborealous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after moving in with a couple of vegan zoologists a few weeks ago, I discover that they don't believe that we have the right to kill cockroaches, and will not allow me to do so. The house is infested, and it's spread to my bedroom. FML

#20067454
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25353) - you deserved it (3595)

On 09/11/2012 at 11:08am - health - by Stevski (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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