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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out my husband has been talking to another woman on Facebook. His only defense was "I thought I deleted the messages." FML

#20051914
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23383) - you deserved it (2602)

On 09/01/2012 at 2:02am - love - by gmac0417 - United States

Today, I stumbled across "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on TV and realized that these awful freaks are going to make more money than I ever will. FML

#20070573
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23372) - you deserved it (2382)

On 09/13/2012 at 6:29pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML

#20068907
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23217) - you deserved it (1997)

On 09/12/2012 at 2:31pm - animals - by shadokis (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML

#20077707
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23165) - you deserved it (4044)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:19pm - animals - by Birdwatcher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, someone brought cake to class. Trying to get some attention from the guy I have a crush on, I asked if he wanted my piece of cake. He accepted it, and then offered it to another girl. FML

#20077941
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23138) - you deserved it (4196)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:07pm - love - by emselin - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML

#20093027
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23117) - you deserved it (1793)

On 09/29/2012 at 12:08am - health - by cedechan (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I held hands with a male mannequin in a department store, just to remember what holding hands felt like. FML

#20069351
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23094) - you deserved it (5779)

On 09/12/2012 at 8:26pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he says, "There's too much of an age gap between us" and that it makes him "feel like a pedophile". He's only four months older than I am. FML

#20086279
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23091) - you deserved it (1576)

On 09/24/2012 at 4:15am - love - by Alright. (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23062) - you deserved it (2704)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23030) - you deserved it (3808)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML

#20086696
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23022) - you deserved it (2089)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

#20083352
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22985) - you deserved it (23635)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22884) - you deserved it (3119)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)



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