Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18888) - you deserved it (1448)
On 09/26/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18805) - you deserved it (2000)
On 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by PuddlePirate (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, a very attractive man asked me out. I'd have been flattered if I weren't the nurse assigned to his laboring wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18762) - you deserved it (1087)
On 09/24/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by Hello Nurse (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mother texted me that she was in labor. She never told me she was pregnant. Apparently she's engaged too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18739) - you deserved it (198)
On 09/27/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Texas)
Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18624) - you deserved it (1250)
On 09/09/2012 at 8:39pm - work - by darawbs - United States
Today, I stumbled across "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on TV and realized that these awful freaks are going to make more money than I ever will. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18602) - you deserved it (1693)
On 09/13/2012 at 6:29pm - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cotton swab shoved up my cock's piss-pipe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18522) - you deserved it (6375)
On 09/04/2012 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18507) - you deserved it (8107)
On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend was showing me photos on his iPod when he came across a photo of a half-naked girl. He tried to play it off by quickly changing it, only to reveal even more half-naked girls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18433) - you deserved it (1891)
On 09/09/2012 at 10:12pm - love - by hatemyluck (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18430) - you deserved it (2696)
On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18354) - you deserved it (1974)
On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18333) - you deserved it (1236)
On 09/18/2012 at 8:42pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I realized that I spend more money on gas to go to my job than what I get paid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18300) - you deserved it (2486)
On 09/24/2012 at 2:21pm - work - by izziegrl - Mexico (Mexico)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
