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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML

Today, my boyfriend and I had breakfast with his grandmother. She told him how I'm prettier than "that Mexican" he'd brought home for dinner last week. We had dinner with her last week, and I'm that same Mexican. She then went on to how Mexicans are what's wrong with the economy. FML

#20071462
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29716) - you deserved it (2962)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:13am - misc - by MexicanMe (woman) - United States

Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML

#20054504
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29711) - you deserved it (7085)

On 09/02/2012 at 6:31pm - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my ex-girlfriend sent me an email. I was excited that she wanted to make amends for cheating on me before I dumped her. No, the email had a photo of her making out with the guy she cheated on me with, and the caption, "What you wish you still had". FML

#20063251
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29600) - you deserved it (2634)

On 09/08/2012 at 2:19pm - love - by max5 (man) - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML

#20090890
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29385) - you deserved it (2139)

On 09/27/2012 at 11:46am - health - by Dave (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I attended my 10-year high school reunion. My ex-husband's new wife showed up in the same dress as mine. I guess both the dress and my ex-husband look better on her. FML

#20055300
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29359) - you deserved it (2441)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:17am - love - by ugly (woman) - United States

Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML

#20051466
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29205) - you deserved it (2360)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML

#20085042
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29151) - you deserved it (2216)

On 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by creepedasfuck (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

#20086703
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29133) - you deserved it (6251)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by disgusted - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

#20083352
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28879) - you deserved it (28533)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28866) - you deserved it (2915)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML

#20093027
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28864) - you deserved it (2303)

On 09/29/2012 at 12:08am - health - by cedechan (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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