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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

#20054615
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28029) - you deserved it (4643)

On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML

#20093027
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28000) - you deserved it (2216)

On 09/29/2012 at 12:08am - health - by cedechan (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mother shared my phone number with my brother, despite my explicit wishes that she didn't. He immediately went and put it on Craigslist and several other websites. This is the fourth time I've had to change my number for that very same reason. FML

#20066134
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27949) - you deserved it (2206)

On 09/10/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML

#20080998
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27795) - you deserved it (1531)

On 09/20/2012 at 5:34pm - health - by fuckalltwitardsintheface (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

#20072449
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27787) - you deserved it (2505)

On 09/15/2012 at 1:35am - intimacy - by anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML

#20085042
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27776) - you deserved it (2098)

On 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by creepedasfuck (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I'm so broke that I hand-washed my socks with a bar of soap that I stole from work. FML

#20058884
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27746) - you deserved it (2880)

On 09/05/2012 at 2:27pm - money - by Lauraborealous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

#20086703
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27711) - you deserved it (6071)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by disgusted - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML

#20062989
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27679) - you deserved it (5384)

On 09/08/2012 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML

#20080101
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27679) - you deserved it (5479)

On 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by ClaireBear150 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

#20083352
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27490) - you deserved it (27450)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he says, "There's too much of an age gap between us" and that it makes him "feel like a pedophile". He's only four months older than I am. FML

#20086279
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27482) - you deserved it (1902)

On 09/24/2012 at 4:15am - love - by Alright. (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, after completely refilling my almost empty gas tank, I witnessed the price flip from $3.69 per gallon to $3.59. FML

#20082194
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27362) - you deserved it (2429)

On 09/21/2012 at 2:49pm - money - by The Drew - United States



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