Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20297) - you deserved it (4662)
On 09/02/2012 at 6:31pm - love - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20212) - you deserved it (1707)
On 08/31/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend of a month has a new girlfriend. That girl is my cousin, the same one who's been listening to my tears fall as I've confided my feelings to her for the past few weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20180) - you deserved it (1445)
On 09/27/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)
Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20122) - you deserved it (1040)
On 09/17/2012 at 7:25am - health - by Missusluv313 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20103) - you deserved it (2143)
On 09/02/2012 at 8:44am - love - by rotezora (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)
Today, my boyfriend and I had breakfast with his grandmother. She told him how I'm prettier than "that Mexican" he'd brought home for dinner last week. We had dinner with her last week, and I'm that same Mexican. She then went on to how Mexicans are what's wrong with the economy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20028) - you deserved it (1844)
On 09/14/2012 at 10:13am - misc - by MexicanMe (woman) - United States
Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19910) - you deserved it (7501)
On 09/05/2012 at 12:44am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19884) - you deserved it (2363)
On 09/04/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by UnknownOperation (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, after having a long talk with my mother about gays, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grand kids." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19840) - you deserved it (3187)
On 09/13/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by EvilMother (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I attended my 10-year high school reunion. My ex-husband's new wife showed up in the same dress as mine. I guess both the dress and my ex-husband look better on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19772) - you deserved it (1446)
On 09/03/2012 at 4:17am - love - by ugly (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19721) - you deserved it (3398)
On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19715) - you deserved it (2038)
On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19448) - you deserved it (4024)
On 09/11/2012 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by apparently inexperienced (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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