Today, neither of my parents fought for my custody. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43357) - you deserved it (2319)
On 06/10/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anon - United States
Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42124) - you deserved it (1594)
Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41081) - you deserved it (2362)
On 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by aranya (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)
Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is she slept with my fiancé. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38023) - you deserved it (1742)
On 06/16/2012 at 3:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35199) - you deserved it (1739)
On 06/29/2012 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34185) - you deserved it (2878)
On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34067) - you deserved it (2728)
On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I saw a text message on my husband's phone from a "Candice", asking him if he and his wife are still separated, followed by an invitation to spend the night. I never knew we were separated in the first place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31696) - you deserved it (1841)
On 06/04/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I was watching a movie alone, after receiving a text from my boyfriend saying that his grandma was at the hospital, so he couldn't go with me. I caught him on a date with another girl, at the same movie screening that I went to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29752) - you deserved it (1522)
On 06/25/2012 at 4:32am - love - by singlesummer - United States (California)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29624) - you deserved it (2884)
Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29551) - you deserved it (5143)
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to break up with her. It was a hard decision and both of us became quite emotionally overwhelmed at the time. We began to hug as a final goodbye, then her mum burst in the room and yelled, "HE FINALLY PROPOSED!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29445) - you deserved it (2416)
On 06/03/2012 at 10:21am - love - by Matt - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29006) - you deserved it (1850)
On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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