Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19728) - you deserved it (2947)
On 03/22/2012 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while waiting tables, I watched a woman pull the bacon off her roast beef melt and eat it. She then called me over and spent several minutes complaining about the our chefs' inadequacy because they didn't put bacon on her sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19706) - you deserved it (1194)
On 03/01/2012 at 7:47pm - work - by craigtm029429 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19688) - you deserved it (1730)
On 03/20/2012 at 1:46pm - misc - by Niles (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cock blocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19654) - you deserved it (4384)
On 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my mother told me it's okay to be a prostitute, as long as I make sure the clients pay a lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19536) - you deserved it (2529)
On 03/26/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Teenagegirl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, on my way to work, I had to squeeze by a man sitting in a large truck parked next to my car. I was in a bit of a hurry and in my rush the collar of my shirt got caught on his grill. My shirt ripped and I flashed the guy my entire boob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19479) - you deserved it (2822)
On 03/12/2012 at 12:28am - work - by titillating (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got my braces put on. This is the second time I've had them. The first time was after my cousin opened a car door in my face. This time a jock punched me in the mouth for saying that Reese's taste the same as Snickers peanut butter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19407) - you deserved it (4205)
On 03/14/2012 at 4:12pm - health - by braceface - United States
Today, I texted my boyfriend, and he pretended he was a Burger King employee who found a lost phone, just so that he wouldn't have to talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19406) - you deserved it (3010)
On 03/06/2012 at 8:56am - love - by biggirlsdocry (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19396) - you deserved it (1827)
On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19369) - you deserved it (2152)
On 03/14/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by S. Michaels (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19324) - you deserved it (3806)
On 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by justgreat - United States (Florida)
Today, I realised being the only female engineering student sucks. I have exactly one friend, because everyone else is too busy staring at my boobs to have a conversation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19301) - you deserved it (3187)
On 03/27/2012 at 11:54am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19230) - you deserved it (4916)
On 03/08/2012 at 5:23pm - misc - by shelly - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
