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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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February 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML

#18976256 (259)

I agree, your life sucks (41511) - you deserved it (2119)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:00pm - love - by kingpig (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I got punched by a man for making fun of his stutter. I didn't. I stutter too. FML

#18980797 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (28992) - you deserved it (1478)

On 02/02/2012 at 11:00pm - misc - by Sam (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920 (261)

I agree, your life sucks (28541) - you deserved it (1650)

On 02/02/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by aliezzedine (man) - Lebanon

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199 (312)

I agree, your life sucks (27585) - you deserved it (2482)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML

#19101207 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (27091) - you deserved it (3838)

On 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by 97 (woman) - United States

Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML

#19189124 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (26880) - you deserved it (1616)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by ouch (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML

#19013163 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (26315) - you deserved it (1620)

On 02/06/2012 at 8:23pm - love - by Nanabanana1 (woman) - United States

Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML

#18973351 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (26310) - you deserved it (2221)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

#19072659 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (26039) - you deserved it (1765)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I flew to England to visit my boyfriend, who has been working there for the past three months. I went to his hotel and waited for him; he never showed up. I called one of his colleagues to ask him what was going on. He had no idea what I was talking about. FML

#18968998 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (25293) - you deserved it (2232)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:31pm - love - by mareda (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML

#18968105 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (25276) - you deserved it (2066)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:11am - work - by ABBenzin (man) - United States

Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML

#19190848 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (25026) - you deserved it (1164)

On 02/29/2012 at 7:01pm - kids - by Fairy31 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the captain of my school's girls wrestling team asked me out. I politely declined. She angrily locked me in the trunk of my own car. FML

#19165097 (253)

I agree, your life sucks (24366) - you deserved it (3786)

On 02/26/2012 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States



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