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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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November 2009

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

#6210144 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (58533) - you deserved it (4093)

On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (57274) - you deserved it (8514)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

#6494130 (315)

I agree, your life sucks (49768) - you deserved it (4754)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

#6316031 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (46772) - you deserved it (2379)

On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

#6480893 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (45046) - you deserved it (1930)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm - love - by Nobody (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally finished my art project which was worth 50% of my quarterly grade. I came in 1st period to give it to her. When she turned to look at it, her elbow hit her coffee and spilled it all over the canvas. I got 60%. She said I would have had a 100%, except for the giant coffee stain. FML

#6169952 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (44089) - you deserved it (2043)

On 11/05/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 6 years. She said no. Why? She's already married. FML

#6198719 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (37936) - you deserved it (4171)

On 11/07/2009 at 4:45pm - love - by John - United States

Today, my 7 year old brother decided that it would be fun to cut off my hair. I woke from a long nap after working the late shift, to about 15 inches of my long blonde hair all over my bed and floor. I now have bloody bald spots and really choppy hair about 3 inches long. He got away with it. FML

#6120189 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (37318) - you deserved it (2040)

On 11/02/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by baldygirl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML

#6252337 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (37203) - you deserved it (1925)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by noexceptions (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my best friend and the guy I had a crush on for 2 years are getting married. The worst part is that they've been dating for 2 years in secret, and just came out about it now. I've been telling her for 2 years how much I like him, and she's encouraged me the whole time. FML

#6140991 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (36635) - you deserved it (2377)

On 11/03/2009 at 8:12pm - love - by Uknowwh (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in line in the grocery store with my 3 year old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had a cow with sunglasses on on it. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (36044) - you deserved it (2055)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a letter in the mail saying I'm being sued by the guy that broke into my house last week. When I walked in and saw him, I tackled him, punched him in the face a time or two, and restrained him with zip ties. I now have to pay for his broken nose and face charges of assault. FML

#6195343 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (35928) - you deserved it (2976)

On 11/07/2009 at 12:01pm - misc - by ShouldHaveLetHimTakeTheTV (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML

#6134962 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (35885) - you deserved it (3029)

On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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