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Saturday 25 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML

#20684997
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76127) - you deserved it (4719)

On 05/25/2013 at 2:55am - love - by lizzie - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML

#20685391
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52632) - you deserved it (2868)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:14pm - misc - by a hex upon your anus, sir (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, one of my boyfriend's friends commented on how small my boobs are. My boyfriend defended me, saying it was only because I was wearing a sports bra. I wasn't. It was the push-up bra he bought me. FML

#20686053
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50086) - you deserved it (4425)

On 05/25/2013 at 7:12pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents decided that since summer is almost here, it's a great opportunity to start having nude barbecues. I found this out after walking out into the backyard, hoping to sun myself a little, only to see the living nightmare that is my parents' naked bodies. FML

#20686007
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48217) - you deserved it (4411)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my parents told me they're glad I'm an "ugly nerd" because they don't have to worry about me getting into trouble or having a teen pregnancy. FML

#20686197
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47610) - you deserved it (4144)

On 05/25/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by uglynerd (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

#20684818
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45674) - you deserved it (8360)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:37am - kids - by Laurel (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML

Today, a group of guys came into my restaurant, dressed up in some kind of role-playing game clothing. Apparently I pronounced one of their fake elf names wrong, because the guy complained to my manager, who then bitched me out in front of everyone for upsetting the customers. FML

#20685944
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43707) - you deserved it (4387)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:13pm - work - by leela (woman) - United States

Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML

#20684874
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42702) - you deserved it (2910)

On 05/25/2013 at 1:09am - work - by mmmretail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I called my fiancé just to tell him how much I love him, as a sweet gesture. He yelled at me for interrupting his video game and blamed my "neediness" on the fact that I'm menstruating. FML

#20684824
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42404) - you deserved it (7662)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:40am - love - by BellinaNico (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. Good thing I went to Lowe's to make spares, which are also now locked in the car. FML

#20684843
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35155) - you deserved it (16761)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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