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Today...hile having sex with my grlfriend on the bathroom floor... I felt something tickle my balls. I lookd back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my frst threesome. FML
Today, I was making wedding plans with mah fiancé. His mother kept complaining about everything, and insisted it was pointless to plan because it's just our "first marriage." She then tried to convince him to dump me and move back in with her because "she's all he'll ever need." FML
Today, as per usual, mah mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret"!! Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret!! FML
Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with grlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake mother. My grlfriend came and swung open the door onto foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML
Friday 27 March 2015