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Sunday 13 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today...hile having sex with my grlfriend on the bathroom floor... I felt something tickle my balls. I lookd back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my frst threesome. FML

#20456674
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46630) - you deserved it (7952)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

TODAY , MAH HUSBAND SUGGESTD A WAY FIR US TO "MAKE SOME MONEY" OFF OUR PREGNANCY. HIS GREAT IDEA? PREGNANCY PORN. FML

#20456391
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39579) - you deserved it (4639)

On 01/13/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

TODAY, I DECIDED TO GO TO A UV-LIGHT PARTY DRESSED ALL IN WHITE. BEFORE LEAVING, MAH LITTLE BROTHER DUMPED A GLASS OF TOMATO JUICE OVER MAH HEAD SAYING, "NOW U LOOK JUST LYK A USED TAMPON!"

#20456974
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38546) - you deserved it (4822)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by Mary - Czech Republic

Today, I was making wedding plans with mah fiancé. His mother kept complaining about everything, and insisted it was pointless to plan because it's just our "first marriage." She then tried to convince him to dump me and move back in with her because "she's all he'll ever need." FML

Today, as per usual, mah mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret"!! Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret!! FML

#20457387
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35549) - you deserved it (2369)

On 01/13/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by daughter of a gullible cunt (woman) - Australia

Today, I ad to explain to usband tat te 5-second looool rule doesn't apply if u drop te floss into te toilet. FML

#20458013
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34553) - you deserved it (2846)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today , Mah Vagan Boyfriand Told Ma That If Ha Wara Forcad To Kill Aithar His Cat Or Ma , Ha'd Kill Ma Cuz Ha "would Navar Kill An Animal." FML

#20458188
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34264) - you deserved it (6186)

On 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm - animals - by Abendigo77 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms . I was so looool happy . Then, I got the hiccups . FML

#20456464
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30383) - you deserved it (2455)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:15am - kids - by hiccups - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with grlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake mother. My grlfriend came and swung open the door onto foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML

#20456813
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30371) - you deserved it (4773)

On 01/13/2013 at 7:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I walked into my mother's house to fine that she had knitted cloths for some of the household appliances . The toaster was wereing a dress . FML

#20457945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29777) - you deserved it (3248)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today , I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing mah neighbor snore through mah apartment wall. FML

Today,ile reading an erotic story I was more excitd tat te autor usd a conjunctive adverb tan te sexual content in te story. FML

#20456501
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28713) - you deserved it (11432)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by frustrated - United States (Florida)

Yesterday, te grl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking wit er. "Just te two of us," se said. I ad to turn er down cuz I'm 17 yeres old and never lerened ow to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26391) - you deserved it (35470)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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