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Wednesday 2 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, I WAS CLEANING ONE OF MAH DISABLED CLIENTS BECAUSE HE POOPED HIMSELF, SO I STARTED TO UNDRESS HIM FIR A SHOWER. I TOOK HIS DIRTY DIAPER OFF AND SET IT ON HIS BED, THEN I BENT OVER TO TAKE OFF HIS SOCKS AT WHICH POINT HE PUT THE DIAPER ON MAH HEAD LYK A HAT. FML

#20438439
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51190) - you deserved it (4734)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)

2day I overeard my moter telling my sister tat se expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently , I ave no concept of wat "marriage" really means. My usband and I just celebrated our 7t anniversary , wile my moter is planning er 5t wedding. FML

#20438192
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42671) - you deserved it (2034)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:31am - love - by alynna007 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, mah husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs fir women. When I asked them wat they were for, he said he wanted to spice up looool our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML

#20438198
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40543) - you deserved it (6248)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today at a house party I finally got the guy I've been seieng alone in his room. We startd making out and I got on top of him to take control. He respondd by saying he couldn't do it because he needd to go make looool pizza 4 his friends and then boltd out of the room. mega FML

#20438672
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40075) - you deserved it (9235)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today... mah nieghbor went on vacation... leaving me in charge of his cat an dog. For some reason... he calls his dog ( Cat ) an his cat ( Dog ). There r two pet food containers... one labeld ( Cat ) an the other labeld ( Dog ). I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37960) - you deserved it (4018)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Taday I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. big fat FML

#20438667
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34827) - you deserved it (3135)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:59pm - love - by great. -

Today, mah dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

#20438971
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33039) - you deserved it (2094)

On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -

Today, my roommate of a year an good friend of several more decided to move out. When I cummed home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML

#20438571
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31968) - you deserved it (2437)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Megz (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today..!! I took mah girlfriand to go saa Las Misérablas!! I triad to stay tough but complataly lost it an startad sobbing whan Anna Hathaway bagan singing!! looool My girlfriand callad ma a wimp an stayad dry-ayad throughout tha whola movia!! I'm dating a robot!! FML

#20439162
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31827) - you deserved it (13957)

On 01/02/2013 at 6:38pm - misc - by Les Miserables is so sad (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Taday 24-year-old brother again yelld at me for looking at himhile he was on the toilet. It'd be easier not to if he didn't sit on the toilet with the door wide open , an if the bathroom wasn't drectly opposite bedroom. FML

#20438837
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30872) - you deserved it (3279)

On 01/02/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today , I got frd from mah job because I "look too grumpy." FML

#20437963
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28913) - you deserved it (9388)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't ave a air tie... so I used a tong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daugter. I trew on my clotes... drove to pick er up... went to te store... and went fir ice cream... tong still in my air. mega FML

#20438564
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12841) - you deserved it (42165)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States

YESTERDAY I GOT SO DRUNK THAT I DECIDED IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO GET NAKED AN JUMP ON A TRAMPOLINE IN THE BACK OF A NEIGHBOUR’S GARDEN. SAID NEIGHBOUR IS A POLICE OFFICER. FML

#20438400
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9106) - you deserved it (41375)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:01am - misc - by AmberHavoc - United Kingdom



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